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half-hearted ode to woman
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half-hearted ode to woman |
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the bard New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 6Chapel Hill, NC |
There’s a girl over there- She’s sitting on a bench so her bare legs can rest; I’m standing by, and my heart labours on with the business of living Because the sun shines, because the night falls, just because. Of the softness of her skin I can attest; Of the existence of a heart in her chest I have no evidence. She does not notice the beauty of the scene: The colors of the trees, the blue of the sky, the green of the grass and The way it tickles bare feet if you happen to be of the sentiment To forget your shoes in the bliss of the warmth of spring. I’ve never seen her feet. She never asks questions because it’s her world, and she sees it through her eyes; Never asks for the Truth, and never pines in its absence. I wonder where her feet have walked today… Some of us in our ignorance Find bliss in the wet lips of a fake kiss; I find it sad to understand why the calypso girl With the gypsy soul, child of the wind and friend of the sun, Has already begun to become one with no one. < !signature--> i'm the member formerly known as Elliott [This message has been edited by the bard (edited 04-18-2000).] |
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Afghan Sam New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 2 |
Your poem was great! You depict the mystery of woman and the simple little things about them that make them beutiful but often go unnoticed. Keep on writing them and will keep on reading them. Once again great poem. |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
You style reminds me of a friend left in the past.. I wonder if we've ever met? Well, you've done a superb job with this.. I hope to see many more.. MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU, MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK MAY THE SUN SHINE UPON YOUR FACE THE RAINS FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS AND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND Irish Blessing |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Wnderful poem. Agree with Angel ~Gene |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Hmm... I like the ending.. "become one with no-one.." sad.. lonely..  The length of your lines here.. are.. unusual.. I am not sure it quite fits.. but it is an interesting style.. and words, well put. ^_^ nice.. Lynne |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
If it's any consolation, we can't for the life of us understand you guys either...  |
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the bard New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 6Chapel Hill, NC |
nan- right back atcha! |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is beautiful..truly lovely. I too love that last line about becoming one with no one. Why did you change your identity? Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Strosek Member
since 2000-04-08
Posts 61Fourways, Gauteng, South Africa |
Great poem. May the light of day always shine during the darkest of nights. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Wonderful first post ! Welcome to our little Pub. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Great piece, Bard ..... "This is where you will win the battle .... in the playhouse of your mind." Maxwell Maltz |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
utterly speechless and struck with awe, magnificent if i must say so..."the beat is strong in this"-yoda kerouac rich-pa "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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the bard New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 6Chapel Hill, NC |
ESP: i changed my identity b/c i forgot my old password. thanx for the compliments folks! |
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Swåmp¤Faerÿie Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358Illinois |
i like this.......the first part reminds me of my friend....and the last part reminds me......of me..imagine that... "I wonder where her feet have walked today… Some of us in our ignorance Find bliss in the wet lips of a fake kiss; I find it sad to understand why the calypso girl With the gypsy soul, child of the wind and friend of the sun, Has already begun to become one with no one." I love that!! Awesome poem,i'll wait for you eagerly to write more =] swamp faeryie And there she weaves by night and day, a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Sounds to me like a woman you know very well physically and emotionally is a total stranger, last line is a chiller. Interesting poem Bard Jack |
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