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Wobbly Head Bob
Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299
Virginia, USA

0 posted 2000-12-08 03:18 PM


What if I felt like you wouldn't want to
That I couldn't call back whatever I dealt to you
Maybe I'm the rock rolling highspeed on the pavement
That blasts your forehead in cold sweat in the basement
When you look up and see the white strips streak by
Undercarriage rider, hear the bridge on creeks cry
What if I felt like you would turn away
Let go of your hold and go your own way
Like flesh to the bone and you said it first
I say undertone to prevent my outburst
Shall I look at the sun and its beauty inhale
Or throw it my heart so destined to fail
I'll fall a broken torso at ninety an hour
And be the passing roadsign; the onside flower
What if I felt like a deadend was there
Lingering and looming in still evening air
I need of you my outlet within
A hand to place me where I should begin
I'm gone in my words, you're standing behind me
Yeah I feel you, and I'm glad you could find me

© Copyright 2000 Wobbly Head Bob - All Rights Reserved
pegasus111
Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219
ocala, fl, usa
1 posted 2000-12-08 04:50 PM


your couplets are tight and flow like fine wine..lovely piece..

the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost


Wobbly Head Bob
Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299
Virginia, USA
2 posted 2000-12-08 05:25 PM


Wow, I guess I never thought of it like that before, *L*  Thanks for reading and replying!
Swamp¤Faeryie
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)
3 posted 2000-12-09 01:10 AM


i really enjoyed this one. it has a mixed up vague kind of you just wrote what you were thinking,not really paying attention,but still bothering to get the rhythm perfect. very interesting,reallyliked it.

sam


"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven,thou "i said" art sure no craven." Ghastly grim and ancient raven,wandering from the nightly shore,tell me what

Wobbly Head Bob
Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299
Virginia, USA
4 posted 2000-12-11 11:19 AM


Swamp - Actually thats exactly what I did, sometimes things hit you so fast that if you don't just jot it down its gone, so I let fingers do the walking so to speak, glad you liked it and took the time to respond!  
Broken_Winged_Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994
Small Town, Somewhere
5 posted 2000-12-11 11:21 PM


Hmm.. I enjoyed the way this flowed, and how you just let the thoughts come out.  Made me stop and think for a bit...    
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