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Slowing Down
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Slowing Down |
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Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA 
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Okay--this is a big step for me. This is the first time I have actually written about the event that changed my life forever. It is real and honest so if you can't finish I understand. It was a huge relief just writing this. I thank you for reading these words. --Jamie < !signature--> "Slowing Down" Thinking with the speed of light I try not to surrender My mind to the vividness of events I should no longer remember I ponder every little thing Sometimes 'white or wheat?' Just to keep the thoughts away Memories I'll never greet But time ticks by so slowly When I'm home alone And I drift back to that party That forever changed my tone I wonder what they were thinking When they slipped me the drugs And watched me drink every drop From all those ice-cold mugs Needless to say they took turns One, then two, then three It thrilled them that I couldn't move And they knew I could still see I wished so much that winter night That I would just die there I hated that I trusted them Those souls that didn't care But I woke up the morning after In my own room thrown on the bed Wondering what had happened Between loud thumps within my head I remembered three days after This time in crazy flashes And so it's been the last four years A day brings a few more lashes Yet I count myself as lucky Because I was left to live Wisdom into those nieve minds Is what I now must give --The End-- "I know I should have told you But I was so afraid you'd leave And now there's nothing left to say Well nothing that you'd believe I never meant to hurt you With the things I couldn't say I promise you tomorrow While denying you today..." by Stabbing Westward [This message has been edited by Wikket (edited 02-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Carlson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Wikket... this one takes my words... the poem is amazing...and I'm sorry... I respect your courage in both writing and sharing this...writing our emotions and being able to express the things that weigh us down... has proven to me to be the best medicine for our hearts... I hope you find this kind healing too. take care, janet marie I love you Is all that you can't say- Years gone by and still... Words don't come easily Like I love you, I love you... But you can say baby... Baby can I hold you tonight Maybe if I told you the right words At the right time you'd be mine... Tracy Chapman |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I'm sorry this happened to you, Jamie. So sad. I think it is good that you now wish to share your wisdom with others through you painful experience. Great poem. Denise |
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Beverly Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 123New Mexico |
Oh Jamie, I have the utmost respect for you. Your words effectively express a lot of emotion and turmoil. It takes courage to show your feelings about any extremely personal experience. Yet, you include hope for prevention/protection for others. Thank you for submitting this. |
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Another Heather Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 93Canada |
Although I don`t really know you, I am extremely proud of you for finally arriving at a place in your life where you can face your past and memories and feelings. Writing has always been my way of seeing my life more clearly and also for saying things that I couldn`t outloud. It looks like you`ve used it sort of the same way and I`m glad it`s helped you. "The world is never the same once a good poem has been added to it." -Dylan Thomas |
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Little_Spyro Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659San Diego, CA, USA |
Wow...that had to have hurt! I'm so glad you came out through it okay!  This is probably the single most moving piece that's warded me away from drugs (and I've seen a LOT of those)... You've got more wisdom than you know what to do with, Wikket! I admire that! Yeah, like Heather I'm proud of you for coming to this point. From here you can only get stronger.  Excellent work, Jamie!  Little Spyro T. Dragon [This message has been edited by Little_Spyro (edited 02-22-2000).] |
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Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
Jamie, Gosh how I can feel the torment behind these words. The worst kind of betrayal is the kind that comes from those you have put your trust in. I agree with the others that this was a very courageous thing for you to do. I also agree that it is a big step; a painful step, but one that will benefit you. The first step to a peaceful future is to turn around and face the pain of the past. Sheila |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Jamie, what a terrible experience to have gone through. Your poem speaks volumes of the pain that you have suffered at the hands of those you trusted. Speaking from experience - talk about it, write about it - look this horror in the face and stand strong in the faith that you can extinguish the demons of the past. God bless and strength you. Kim |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
It takes courage to write your story like this and I wish you all the strength you'll need healing from this. I wish I could do something for you, maybe a hug will help ? ((((((((((HUG)))))))))) |
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William P Bussey Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 188 |
Jamie, Life is sometimes cruel beyond belief, but within each of us lives the will to be a survivor. Some of us will find it and live, others never look and die. You obviously have looked and found. Stay strong and believe in you. |
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