navwin » Archives » The Corner Pub » Haiku # 4 or maybe Senryu#1??? tell me please... Ice Cream Parlour
The Corner Pub
Post A Reply Post New Topic Haiku # 4 or maybe Senryu#1??? tell me please... Ice Cream Parlour Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2000-08-21 11:37 AM




Ice Cream Parlour

Cold winter winds blow
From the heart of my freezer-
Child likes vanilla!







[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
1 posted 2000-08-21 11:47 AM


Sudhir,
  Looks like a poem bridging both displines!
Well done!
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has past
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)

juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
2 posted 2000-08-21 11:55 AM


Sudhir as you know I'm learning right along with you, so I have no clue. But this I do know,...me like, me likes. And yummy on that vanilla. Ummm you gonna share??? LOL. Great friend. I want ice cream nowwwwwwwww!
Juls

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
3 posted 2000-08-21 01:21 PM


Oh my gosh, miss a day or two and look what's going on....Aren't they fun Sudhir??? This is great and tasty too!!!! Gotta run and find the first 3.....Bonnie
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2000-08-21 05:33 PM


Well, i like chocolate, but would take vanilla if you're offering   Nice work!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-08-21 09:25 PM


Sudhir~

Well, my friend ....
I'll have a double-dip with SENRYU sprinkles on top !

Wonderfully, well done !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
6 posted 2000-08-21 10:11 PM


Sudhir, Delightful!!
Great idea! What a treat you have served us.
Marcy

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
7 posted 2000-08-22 05:30 AM


Nicely done, Sudhir.  I side with the senryu croud.  
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
8 posted 2000-08-22 08:35 AM


Sudhir, haiku is about nature while senryu is just about everything else...

me like this muchly...i am turning 20 soon but i can never resist a wonderful cone of icecream from the ice-cream man

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
9 posted 2000-08-22 11:53 AM


So it is senryu then... thanks for the fantastic and wonderful replies... seems like everybody is up for a treat...

just one point... maybe tangential but...
this is about nature.. nature of a child... seasonal reference.. winter winds... a moment described also... moment when the ice-cream vendor takes vanilla from his freezer... why not haiku? hmmm...  

let's debate if need be... and figure out... I agree senryu might win over haiku with this one because of a million reasons that I don't know but then I will be happy... for my firts senryu...  

regards to all,
sudhir

allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road
10 posted 2000-08-22 12:27 PM


i really liked this family moment very much. it said a lot to me...  
sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
11 posted 2000-08-22 01:57 PM


You're lucky my husband works for Schwan's Ice Cream, or I would be bombarding your door with my checkbook in hand  

j/k, Sudhir, Great Senryu also! Keep that ice cream coming!

stay cool

~~Lavada~~



"For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it
For every love, there is a heart some

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
12 posted 2000-08-23 04:26 AM


allan, thanks for coming by... and am glad that it "talked" to you...

lavada, thanks a bunch... btw- I accept Cash only... LOL  

regards,
sudhir

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
13 posted 2000-08-23 06:06 AM


Sudhir; This lovely piece needs it's own category...maybe a "Senku", as in, "Senku" very much!  Ellie

P.S. Thank you very much for all you sincere replies to me, I very much appreciate them. E< !signature-->

Summers haunting melody
that awakens
the butterflies,
calling them to join
the dance
in their silent song
of praise to God.  
    
eL


[This message has been edited by ellie LeJeune (edited 08-23-2000).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » The Corner Pub » Haiku # 4 or maybe Senryu#1??? tell me please... Ice Cream Parlour

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary