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Doctored Nursery Rhymes
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Doctored Nursery Rhymes |
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deleeme Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 1766NEW ENGLAND, USA 
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Jack and Jill, Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water But wouldn't have to do all that If city water, He bought her! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sing a song of sick kids Pockets with little dough, 4 and 29 black birds Can go a long way you know With baking and a freezing They gave it a try, Now you know how it began The company--BIRDSEYE! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mary had a little lamb She would not be a glutton But she liked it very well-- Said it taste just like mutton! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Diddle Diddle, The cat and the fiddle Screeched all night long on the fence, But when morning came, He ne'er played again But for cat stew became ingredients!  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Little Miss Muffet Sat in her bucket Her sports car was classy, you see. But a spider blew in And she freaked 'cause of him Then she kicked the bucket--(nasty)! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the cupboard To give her poor dog a bone, But hungry herself, She closed the bare shelf Instead, having a Hot Dog for one! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, But things can work out for the best-- Scrambled eggs, Y'all? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 David L. White - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Hey, little Davey; Your second childhood has kicked in, I see! These are hysterical!!!! LOL!! How did you think of these? They are so funny and witty. Gret job, bro! love, Sis |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
heeheehee!! BIG LAUGHS!  these are great for the funny bone..and for putting laughter in my soup... dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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Alle'cram Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816Texas |
David, Made me smile bigtime with these. this one reminded me of when I was a little girl and my uncle served dinner with my- pet goat!! Marcy "Mary had a little lamb She would not be a glutton But she liked it very well-- Said it taste just like mutton!" |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Hey ....funny ...really funny Just what we need thanks. Jon |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
David~ You just cooked Mother's Goose ! ! Fun ! Fun ! Fun ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. |
David, These are good but you forgot one. Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack burnt his hinney Jumping candle sticks! Obscene things He was heard to mutter While soaking his hinney In cocoa butter! LOL great fun! Dennis :^) [This message has been edited by Dennis L. White (edited 08-16-2000).] |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
A little humor for my morning, very nice  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ROFL These are delightful, David!Denise |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
LOL  How very clever David - especially the Humpty Dumpty version!~Take care, Melissa~ |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
lol but what about this one Hey diddle diddle, the cat had a piddle, Right in the middle of the floor, The little dog laughed, To see such fun, So the cat did a little bit more. Don't ever give in, if you do you've lost everything you've ever had and everything you hope to gain, but if you carry on your already winning. |
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