Jeremiah's Rhyme Challenge - I

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Jeremiah's Rhyme Challenge - I

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

0 posted 2000-07-02 02:04 PM

In case you don't know jeremiah's challenge is to see how many lines with the same rhyme can be created in a poem. This is my rather tongue-in-cheek attempt at it!

we walked to the ocean
but we didn't go in
it seemed a little foreign
and yet it was all to win
as we sat with embarrassed grin
the water was aquamarin'
but still we didn't swim
too young and too old within
and much to learn 'bout livin'

[This message has been edited by allan (edited 07-04-2000).]

lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

1 posted 2000-07-02 05:51 PM

That's cute. What astounds me is that it actually makes a lot of sense, too!

Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

2 posted 2000-07-07 01:21 AM

challenge well met and such profound words in the last two lines

midnightblues
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 1597
Singapore

3 posted 2000-07-07 11:05 AM

Golly! Here's another poet with humour and wit. Envoius *S* Great one! Go Go!

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

4 posted 2000-07-07 12:14 PM

Jeez you're nice people...

kelieth
Member

since 2000-06-12

Posts 314
Normal IL - USA

5 posted 2000-07-07 02:03 PM

If you learn to live I pray thee teach I to need to know.

Great piece.

< !signature-->

Kevin

"Anything is possible with patience, time is the tool use it to reach your goals."

[This message has been edited by kelieth (edited 07-07-2000).]

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

6 posted 2000-07-07 07:44 PM

really enjoyed the poem

too young and too old within
and much to learn 'bout livin'

excellent poem, there is much wisdom in your humor.

"All my life What I mistook for friendly pats on the back Were really the hands that pushed me further and further down The more I struggle, the less I achieved" Chad

[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 07-07-2000).]

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