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only a moment |
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allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road 
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in the palm of my hand a leaf two curls one on one and i see on its surface; stars and on its wrinkled face i see me; old, tired almost gone waiting for any old breeze to carry me away the tears of pain fall for wasted years for ones i have lost and the pain i have caused we both had our green days lived without thought now they are captured in every line and wrinkle life in summer goes by so fast warmed by the sun winter comes too soon and long long nights bring cold to the heart now looking at each tiny avenue, vein and tattered pathway i let her fall softly to earth I turn to my path as a shaft of sunlight pierces the trees sparkling in tear-filled eyes [This message has been edited by allan (edited 06-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Allan Tierney - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
i like the form of love here and the imagery you use also good job keep it up. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thanks Jeremiah.  |
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darbo New Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 7 |
Great imagery. You're very good, I look forward to seeing more of your work.  -Darleina |
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allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thanks Darleina. There are a few more about here. Or at my site if you like! |
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kelieth Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 314Normal IL - USA |
Allan, Exellant job to remind of life's frailities that someday soon like your leaf we'll brush away with the gentlest of breezes. Great job. Kevin "Anything is possible with patience, time is the tool use it to reach your goals." |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Wow, this is beautiful allan.. I think u should submit it for the book.. sorry it's short, have to go Lynne "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
This was very nice. I'll be looking for more by you. I awake to a world I don't want. There is no transition for me. I am in heaven. I am in hell. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
this is wonderful allen--i really love it! i like the comparison to the leaf..and both having seen "greener" days: "we both had our green days lived without thought now they are captured in every line and wrinkle..." enjoyed the read! dg "A Poet's life is on written page; a scenario to take the stage--watch..." dgvarner |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Allan~ This is a fine piece of poetry. I enjoyed the analogous use of the greenery of the leaf very much. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
did I miss this one too? Naughty me!! This one is terribly sad *sniff* and also beautiful. I hope you don't really feel like that though!!!??? Waiting for any old breeze to blow you away????! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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midnightblues Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597Singapore |
Wooo beary melancholic...sadsad...and I love the little touch of nostalgy u created the tears of pain fall for wasted years for ones i have lost and the pain i have caused my fav stanza...abit tragic...but beautifully portrayed...as I said...sadness can be a beauty too...and u've proven in in this poem!! Go Go!! Gimme moore!!! *S* This is great allan! If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™ |
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