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Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member

since 2000-03-29

Posts 358
Illinois

0 posted 2000-05-23 02:59 PM

Watching street lights make carnival monkeys out of our pedaling shadows.
Shortened & pasted to the asphalt we ride over.
We never know where we're really going do we??¿
We just take one street after another in a crazy unorganized bustle,
the bike tires skid & whistle over concrete while i try to do tricks.
Sometimes i succeed,sometimes i scrape my knees.

Always racing down the street at midnight just to feel the speed......
hear the dog barks whiz by my ears and fade into strange city echos.
Watching scared cats eye's mirror as they skitter low to the ground,darting in front of me.
Sometimes a morning dove couple fly off & give up their nest in a scolding frenzy.

I don't really want to be here with you in the city.
Don't want to be here at all,but maybe i'll take it as it is.
Little flecks of gold,a few good moments.

< !signature-->

And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

[This message has been edited by Swåmp¤Faerÿie (edited 05-24-2000).]

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

1 posted 2000-05-23 03:45 PM

Those little flecks of gold make it all worthwhile!

Denise

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

2 posted 2000-05-23 06:59 PM

interesting read, I never thought about the shadows on the pavement quite like that before. Enjoy whatever you are doing even if it's for a moment or two.

Alle'cram
Senior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 1816
Texas

3 posted 2000-05-23 10:05 PM

Swamp, Great job setting the mood for the reader. Complacent, with a few good moments.
Nicely written, Marcy

patricianne
Member

since 2000-05-04

Posts 66

4 posted 2000-05-24 02:06 PM

Swamp, this was a real trip, as in -I felt like I was there with you riding the streets at night. I took it all quite literally, and saw myself trying a few of those tricks that I never could master as a child!

childomine
Senior Member

since 2000-01-25

Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL

5 posted 2000-05-25 07:33 AM

This is awesome S.F. I think this is my favorite of yours yet.

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

6 posted 2000-05-25 02:00 PM

Hi Swåmp¤Faerÿie!

I agree with childomine - this is the best I've read of your poems - and I love the others!

With this you've really excelled yourself - I really felt this. Brilliant atmosphere creation - did you right it quickly in one big rush to keep the feelings fresh?

I can't say enough good things about this poem - VERY good.

Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member

since 2000-03-29

Posts 358
Illinois

7 posted 2000-05-27 09:08 AM

Thank you all!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!!And yes i did write it all in a rush!! Right after i looked down at the way my shadow looked i zoomed home a quickly wrote it before i forgot!! heehee...thanks again everyone!!!!!!!!

swamp

And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

8 posted 2000-05-27 10:01 AM

Hmm. I thought that! Very immediate feeling to it. Like a Beat style.

I like this kind of poetry - you can almost live another's experience...

[This message has been edited by allan (edited 05-27-2000).]

Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member

since 2000-03-29

Posts 358
Illinois

9 posted 2000-05-29 08:46 AM

And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

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