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Winnifer Fayre
Junior Member
since 2000-10-05
Posts 13


0 posted 2000-10-09 07:40 AM


This poem was written in two stages. It was originally a haiku. But it was too sad the way it sat, so I added another stanza.

alone

the prayer of a child
echoes off a heedless sky.
alas, i'm alone!

"alone?" says a voice.
"why do you look to the sky?
i'm here, by your side."



© Copyright 2000 Winnifer Fayre - All Rights Reserved
ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
1 posted 2000-10-09 08:05 AM


Dear Winn; The added stanza was the perfect touch. The kingdom of God is within us! Wonderful!  Ellie

Summers haunting melody
that awakens
the butterflies,
calling them to join
the dance
in their silent song
of praise to God.

eL

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-10-09 10:53 AM


Winnifer, somehow Haikus and spiritual poetry seem to walk hand in hand, and this addition of yours is lovely, thank you...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-10-09 09:32 PM


Winnifer~
This is just so lovely.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
4 posted 2000-10-09 10:42 PM


I also love the addition. It adds so much to it. Why look to the sky? I'm right here at your side. And He always is. I think it added a lot!  
Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
5 posted 2000-10-10 12:22 PM


  Sometimes God seems so distant perhaps up there beyond the heavens someplace and you have brought Him down here to right where we live.  Lovely haiku(s).  Bob <><
Winnifer Fayre
Junior Member
since 2000-10-05
Posts 13

6 posted 2000-10-10 06:19 AM


thank you for your kind comments. the first stanza was based on an actual experience. i've always prayed a great deal, but some years ago, i, for the first time in my life, got the feeling that my prayers only made it "two feet off the ground." it was a very scary experience for someone who had always had a sense of god's presence. god, it seemed, was no longer with me. i spent several years as a half agnostic, professing faith but really doubting everything. (i'm still no tower of faith.) the second stanza comes from the years since, the realization that my feelings were, after all, only feelings...that the fact of god's abiding presence, was still fact...the only fact that matters.
sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
7 posted 2000-10-10 09:37 PM


I liked it before reading your explanation, then reread it and cried.  It's beautiful.  I can really relate to your feelings that's why I wrote "Unconditional Love," same dilema.  Thank you for sharing.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-10-10 09:59 PM


Winnifer I'm not sure what to say. I read it and left and felt I had to come back. So here I am.

I'm sure many people can relate to having their prayers feel like they hit the ceiling.
I know I've been there. I too had a really close walk with God a few years back, and I fell from that. I never did fully recover from that either. I doubted and questioned, and am just peeking my head back above the surface again. It takes forgiveness, not only from him, but from yourself as well.

It also takes self discipline, which I haven't gotten back either. Just keep praying, and I know they shall soar again.
I'll pray for you, you can for me as well.

It's a struggle when we fall, especially to the depth we both seem to have. It's not easy to explain, but I can certainly understand.

Keep looking toward the Light.
I heard someone say today, that no matter if we're broke or what is going on in our life, HE is still THE ALMIGHTY GOD.

and may HE bless you!

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
9 posted 2000-10-11 09:02 AM


Oh wow Winnifer!!!!  How beautiful.  The first so full of sadness, the second so full of hope.  This is wonderful.  Bonnie
Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
10 posted 2000-10-11 10:06 PM


your lovely poem took on more life after I read your feedback...it brought me in remembrance of a time I felt I was so far from God and my prayer were echoing too...when, during the same time frame, He spoke to my heart, I yielded to what I thought was Him and my life was saved from a horrible accident. I ran back to Him as fast as I could go; my testimony to this event came a year later, as I read from the Word, as He spoke to my heart again, "I had left Him, He had never left me."

Thank you for your lovely poem and your heartfelt testimony and allowing me to share a testimony with you, relating to the same theme.    Marcy

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2000-10-11 10:33 PM


Winnifer,

These are very nice.  I am glad to see the second stanza.  Such sadness in the first one.  Nice writing.  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

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