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'Twas The Night Before Christmas
| Open Poetry #4 |
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'Twas The Night Before Christmas |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio 
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'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... < !signature-->How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid! The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises coming from their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she had enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next. He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, from every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth." "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 [This message has been edited by Blondie (edited 12-06-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Melissa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
LOL LOL! Wonderful - with a great message at the end! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
All righty then, Blondie.... A good one for sure.....  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! This is wonderful! How ingenious! I thoroughly enjoyed this Blondie! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
An A+ for cleverness and ingenuity, Blondie!! |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
Thanks everyone! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Applause!!! I thoroughly enjoyed this, Blondie... well done! |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Very nice, Blondie. But wouldn't the pigs rather be called "porkine-North Polians" (the word "pig" is so offensive!).  Good job. A politically correct North Pole ... hehe. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I applaud you Blondie!! This is Wonderful!!!! A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
Thanks everyone for this positive feedback on this one. I'm so glad everyone enjoyed it, maybe I should be more "politically" correct. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Truly enjoyable. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Wow! LOL... So true of the world today isn't it? I loved it, very ingenious! |
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Sally S. Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847Ohio |
Laughed right through it and was humbled by the message at the end. Bravo!! |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
LOL! Hilarious poem, and great message at then end! I loved this! "Human pride sings a vengeful song, inspired by the times you've been walked on" - Creed - "What If" |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
much loved. O' blondie, dont ever be politically correct just be you. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
LOL, I love it |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio |
Thanks everyone once again. I love this Christmas cheer going around Passions. < !signature--> Christmas is my favorite holiday."Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 [This message has been edited by Blondie (edited 12-08-1999).] |
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