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My Special Valley, a second attempt
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My Special Valley, a second attempt |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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My Special Valley Why return back home To this the place of birth? It was from here I left In ventures of a youth To seek a better life To do much better deeds What draws my spirit back To rolling hills of green? To this my special valley Where falling waters plunge Cascading over rocks Cascading over years Was it the lovely woods The deep and lovely woods? Was it the cooling spring The fountain crystal clean The font of my beginning The womb from which I came? Was it the splendid sight The lush of season’s wealth Was it the cardinal winter Was it the tulip spring? What more tremendous force Could draw me back again Than the undertow of joy In nature's delicate fruits They cleanse my weary eye My ears, my heart, my mind They cleanse me in the ponds Of pure tranquility? But it was not for this Not for the woods and hills I was drawn back to roots To the place of birth and life I was drawn back to the valley Of my ancestors birth The sons of those who left Their green, green German hills To seek a better life To do much better deeds. I am bound to this, my place By threads of heritage I am bound by who I am To the kinship of the blood . The golden threads of family And their comfort and their love These are the strongest forces In the undertows of life They carried me back home Where I am most at peace This place that I once left To do much better deeds Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Take me home, take me home.... please take me home... this seems to sing to me... wonderful writing... Liz I guess Jim will come around and talk about technical details...  But I liked it tremendously... a topic so close to my heart... regards, sudhir |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
*bumping* up to catch Jim's eye... regards, sudhir |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I tried and tried to write in this mode - and it just wasn't working for me, so I finally gave up on it - Perhaps it was a combination of the theme I was using and my inability to unstructure my structure - I'm not sure... I do like this piece, though - It looks like you've succeeded nicely, Elizabeth..  |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
I apologize for my tardiness. I would say that you've succeeded beautifully in writing in this form, using most of the tools at your disposal without allowing the poem to become weighed down. A lovely read, Elizabeth. Nan: *Jim whispers* This form is structured.  Jim |
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