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Teen Poetry #2
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Untitled (title sugg. plz.)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Untitled (title sugg. plz.) |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
In the dark standing on the dock she waits watches patiently stares into the darkness hoping, wishing he'll turn back that it wasn't goodbye maybe it won't be forever the anticipation In the dark standing on the dock she watches him his figure disappears sadness overcomes her he was the one why can't he see that it was meant to be why can't he feel that the anger; the tears Sitting, watching still waiting water reflects the sunrise knowing it's another day she has a new start feels she shouldn't leave don't know what to do she still sits waiting the sun high in the sky the confusion Standing on the dock she waits staring into the water a shadow she sees a hand on her shoulder turns, looks sudden happiness a kiss wanting forgiveness thought he was gone wipes away her tears Standing together on the dock no more waiting embraced in love a love never broken his realization of happiness with her knows she's the one never again make her unhappy love and cherish forever the happiness As everyone knows i love to hear any suggestions or changes you have to this poem. I also would like a title i couldn't think of one, so any suggestions you have would be great. Thanks. Isa  "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeanna - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CLBinLOVE Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 147Hilton Head, SC, USA |
i like the poem, as for a title, try "the one" always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside...:) |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
your writing is beautiful! I love the way you portray your feelings so well. thanks for your thought on my poems! it means a lot~ =0) I hope this poem is from experience because it is wonderful and I hope everything works out for the best with you two!! Love Always~*~Jessica~*~ |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
Thanks for your opinions on my poem. Sorry to say this is not from experience. I had a dream that went sorta like this. I wish something like this would happen to me..I'm tired of being single..anyhow. Thanks again. Jeanna "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
"If Goodbye Were Ever Final"...that would be a cool title... but don't take my word for it. I love the way almost every line, no matter how short, had it's own meaning and lead us to another line with another message. It kept the flow going well. Great job. Jeremy Halstead |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi Isabelle I think 'reunion' would be a perfect title. THis is a wonderful poem. Sincerely A_L |
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