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Teen Poetry #2
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If I Died
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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If I Died |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A 
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This is about a different kind of love and loss. If I Died Everyone must go sometime, but some must go today. They have no choice, it's just their time. For who's crimes must they pay? Unwilling sacrifices to the Gods who take on with their powers. Taking lives but not their own... simply taking our's. I see the dead na wonder why everyone is here. Knowing that we all shall die- seeing constant fear. If I were next, the chosen one by whom the toll is paid, who would grieve at my loss- now my deathbed's made? I know a few of those who might cry until they bleed. But some i wonder if they would... if my love they truly need. A blackened vail over my poor mother's eyes, my father's going mad. My brother holds my sister's hand- all so far beyond sad. A priest preaches the word of God, shedding not a tear. My body lifeless in a box... At last my futures clear. Jeremy D. Halstead |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved | |||
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
WOW! All your writing is so powerful! I love this one just as much as the others! Kepp 'em coming! Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~ |
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ILoveSrfrs Member
since 1999-11-14
Posts 69California |
One word: WOW. I have to agree with StarPryncess on this one...this is so powerful and very thought-provoking. Death is such a powerful subject, and you expressed your feelings about it very well in this piece. great work. marissa |
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Isabelle Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 176Indiana |
I would have to agree this is powerful. Some of us don't like think about it when we die. I do believe that you did a good job though. Jeanna  "Poetry is the music of the souls, and above all, of great and feeling souls." ~Voltaire~ |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
This is a great poem. Now you got me all thinking about my own funeral. That just shows that your writing really is powerful. Great work Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
Yikes!!! This is only the second poem of yours that I've read, and I'm definately gonna look for some more when I'm in... I like this a lot... Keep up the good work... Love, Kristi Lynn |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi Jeremy Nothing is bad as it seems. You'll recover. Just keep praying with faith in god and Jesus will surely bless you. Sincerely A_L |
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TearsOfPearls Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322Vereeniging, South-Africa |
Since one of my friends died a few weeks I myself have been thinking of death alot. You putt thoughts to words very precisely. You can't help to think about who will cry and then who will cry when they hear about your death. Great poem, keep up the good stuff. Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach. |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
ok well, I know I already replied but I would like to reply to something some one else said. (sorry Jeremy) Well, A_L looks like you confused me again! How can you say nothing is as bad as it seems? Have you ever lost someone you love very much? It's very disheartening and traumatic. and when you lose someone you love, it is as bad as it seems. nothing against your positive out looks on life or anythin like that, but I have felt that loss and it hurts and it was evern worse than it seemed. Please don't be offended that I disagree, just take into the consideration of how it fells to lose someone you love! Love Always ~*~Jessica Lynn~*~ |
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