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Open Poetry #3

Butterflies

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

0 posted 1999-10-19 02:31 PM

I've seen the lives
of butterflies
wrapped tightly in cocoons of lies
so when will I
a butterfly
break free from my cocoon suprized?
Then I can be
what's truly me
and when my colors people see
I'll float upon the currents free.

RB

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if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

Watcher666
Senior Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 1606

1 posted 1999-10-19 03:19 PM

Lovely! Liked this much!

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Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you.

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

2 posted 1999-10-19 04:24 PM

I thought the poem was very nice..but being the know-it-all I can sometimes be....

Butterflies do not have cocoons.Moths ahve cocoons. Butterflies undergo their metamorphasis in a chrysalis.

Sorry for being a smart ass.

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

3 posted 1999-10-19 04:26 PM

Robert....well done....I liked this too!

U K Hero
Member

since 1999-08-08

Posts 266
England

4 posted 1999-10-19 05:18 PM

very good but, (in my opinion) I do feel there was room for one more verse. Do write more.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

5 posted 1999-10-19 10:34 PM

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Denise

Sally S.
Senior Member

since 1999-06-07

Posts 847
Ohio

6 posted 1999-10-19 10:40 PM

A sweet little piece..I liked it!

RobertB
Senior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 1104
Champaign, IL

7 posted 1999-10-20 07:09 PM

hehehe systematic...I realized that moths do their thing in a cocoon about 2 years after I wrote this....but somehow didn't have the nerve to change it!!

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if you can dream; you can fly...if you are flying; you are dreaming.

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