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Open Poetry #3
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On Angels' Wings
| Open Poetry #3 |
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On Angels' Wings |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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(I'm not sure about this one guys, I need your opinion. My mother-in-law asked me if I would write something in memory of her niece and her niece's daughter who both tragically died three years ago, three months apart. What do you think? And is the apostrophe in the correct spot or should it be between the l and the s as I am thinking of angels in the plural? The idea for this came from WhtDove's challenge a while back) Since lifted high on angel wings Of gossamer and lace I've seen so many wondrous things And seen Him face to face. Enraptured by the King of Kings Wrapped up in His embrace My soul eternally it sings Of His amazing grace. When you arrive and see the King The beauty in His face You'll find the end of suffering All pain He will erase. When lifted high on angel wings Of gossamer and lace You'll see so many splendor'd things And wonders of His grace. Once reunited in this place Of lacy angel wings We'll be together by His grace As all of heaven sings. Thanks for any help you can give! ------------------ Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-08-1999).] [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-08-1999).] [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-09-1999).] [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 11-09-1999).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jennifer Marie O'Neil Junior Member
since 1999-11-01
Posts 48port charlotte fl/bklyn ny |
I am not sure about your apostrophe abut i think you are right - s' - well wherever it goes this is lovley poem ! ------------------ Faith is to believe what we do not see, and the reward of faith is to see what we believe. AUGUSTINE |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
I would use Angel's Wings ... and by the way, how angelic the thoughts. ------------------ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It's a beautiful poem, Denise. Well done. In the fourth line, you need to use "seen" to be correct. As far as the title is concerned, the way you have it is correct for multiple angels. It is excellent. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks for your help and kind comments, Jennifer, Marge and Balladeer! It is much appreciated! Now I can get this ready for them and not have any doubts about it! ------------------ Denise |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Beautiful Denise... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thanks, Mike! I'm glad you liked it!  ------------------ Denise |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
A beautiful poem, Denise. I don't see much of anything I would change other than "angels' wings" could effectively be said "angel wings" and still hold the same meaning. Having two words back to back ending with "s" can often cause a pause in the reading. Wonderful job. Michael |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I like it just as it is -- but I think "lacey" is actually spelled "lacy"! An uplifting read Denise, thank you! --Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Very beautiful Denise...... ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
What a loving thing to do The poem was really nice, I do agree with the 'Deermeister tho..... Luv X ------------------ "We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night" (Tombstone epitaph of two amateur astronomers) |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Beautiful poem D....angel's (singular possessive) angels' (plural possessive). ------------------ Once I was brilliant, now I no longer shine, but the twinkle in my eye speaks of another time. |
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Watcher666 Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 1606 |
Beautiful! ------------------ Illusion...what we see and what we do...it's all up to you. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you all so much for all your help and kind comments! ------------------ Denise |
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