Letters I Never Seem to Send-

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Christina Myers
Member

since 1999-06-21

Posts 159

0 posted 1999-06-26 03:27 PM

And so it goes that I find myself here- alone. Without you. But the thought of you never leaves me. Even when I think I have you licked once and for all- wham! Your face appears in my mind and I am tumbling stumbling forward into the idea of you....I never thought it would be so easy to fall. Not into love. This can't be love. Too soon. Too much. No....No. Falling into like with you is about as much as my heart can take... I shouldn't give it more to worry about.

I feel like I've waited a long time for you.

But does it matter? This feeling- this need- this want that blossoms in me even while I fight to deny it- even while my head screams no no no no no no no no no no no no!

My friend told me, "don't get stuck in something complicated."
Good advice I think.
But how am I supposed to uncomplicate myself? Uncomplicate you. Uncomplicate this thing I've thrown down between us.
And everytime I talk to you I want to speak- to let out the words that swim near the surface of my heart - but all that comes out of me is smallness. The currency of everyday life.

So I don't dare to begin to send these thoughts, these poems, these expressions of... like...to you. These expressions of me. About you. I don't dare. Because this is the place where you listen and I talk. This is the place where your answer has no power.

This is the only space I have.
For me. With you.
Together.

------------------
"These poems, they are things that I do
in the dark, reaching for you...whoever you are
and are you ready?"
June Jordan

Moonlight
Member

since 1999-06-25

Posts 105
Auburn, Alabama USA

1 posted 1999-06-26 04:32 PM

I understand this one very well.

~m o o n l i g h t~

------------------
[img]http://www.auburn.edu/~fergum1/about/moonface.gif[/img]
http://www.auburn.edu/~fergum1
~*Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars*~

Christina Myers
Member

since 1999-06-21

Posts 159

2 posted 1999-06-26 10:17 PM

thank you moonlight...it's not exactly a poem but the masochist in me wanted to post it... now if I could only send it to who it was intended to!!

Christina

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 1999-06-26 10:48 PM

The toughest battles we ever face are the ones inside of us. At the same time, we are the victor, the vanquished, the good, the bad, the smart, the dumb and it tears us apart. The second toughest battle is accepting the unacceptable. Your poem vividly displays both areas in an emotional and beautiful manner. Many of us are fighting that same battle. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Christina Myers
Member

since 1999-06-21

Posts 159

4 posted 1999-06-27 10:11 AM

Thank you, Balladeer- a thoughtful response.
Bless you.

-C

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.