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maverick
New Member
since 1999-07-21
Posts 1


0 posted 1999-07-21 11:04 PM


This peom is for a woman at work that i've fallen in love with. I saw her sitting behind a glass window inside the building and she has grown on my ever since. please give me input. The peom says what I want it to say but it doesn't seem to flow very well.

Angel

One normal spring day while walking down the way
With mind and soul gone far astray

A sight appeared out of the corner of an eye
Just like heaven appearing through the clouds and the sky

For an angel had appeared through glass
With golden hair and looks of class

Her elegance shown like a beam from above
A short time later I had fallen in love

She is as pure as a mountain river
She sparkles like a waterfall
Her soul is like a flowering meadow
No words describe her beauty at all

Her eyes are as clear as a morning star
And voice so sweet whether near or far

When she looks at me with her radiant smile
My heart does skip for a very long while

Long I await to talk to her some day
Though when near she takes my breath away

The memories of seeing her in my soul I keep
til we meet again tonight in my sleep

She is completely captivating one has to say
Thats why they decided to call her Angel plus an a

© Copyright 1999 maverick - All Rights Reserved
elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
1 posted 1999-07-21 11:09 PM


falling in love...ain't it grand? ...my only advice, i always read my poems out loud to see if the rhythm and rhyme flows...welcome to the forum...nice to have you here

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite. If I had my liberty I would do my liking. In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~


poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
2 posted 1999-07-25 09:57 PM


Oh yeah, you're a "gone-er" Nice knowing ya...You're in love if I've EVER seen it....

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


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