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Shipwreck
| Open Poetry #2 |
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Shipwreck |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
I am cold and wet, underneath this great tree the ocean lies not far off, my pilgrimage, of whence I came, of where I shall perish- a tropics windstorm hovers above the water, my eyes are of old, my tongue speaks unknown words which were known on the other side of the world, poisonous snakes and great mantra rays soar in the deep, in the deepest blue where rain drowns; a million grains of sand lie on the distant shore, a wooden splinter towers above the sand, a tale to be told by moon, to be seen by sun; I throw a rock at the sea clinging to hope's foundations and my hopes are drowned in the cold currents, as the island under my foot knows none but I, a long pilgrimage, a price paid with the crew gone, perish'd long, long ago in the ocean of tears. Woe! my sandals hath fell'd a thousand leagues as did my hope, the hope of a hundred men. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Artur Hawkwing - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I have read many of your works, and I think I like this one the best. It's very descriptive. Wonderful job, Artur! ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
Hi Elizabeth, since you like details so much, I have a couple more detailed poems.  I'm sorry to run off again but thank u for letting me know which one you like the best. I'll be returning the favor shortly. |
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Paul Allen Lupien Member
since 1999-09-09
Posts 114Ferndale,Mi.USA |
Artur,could this possibly be part of a longer work,a saga perhaps?Makes me want to know the story behind it. ..."dreams of a hundred men..."-intriguing- curiously, PAL ------------------ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I agree with Paul please turn it into a Saga, a small posting each day would be great. Like I did with the Knight and His Maiden. Think about it, but anyway, well done.. ------------------ Words that enlighten the soul are more precious than jewels. ~Isis~ |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Darn this thing! [This message has been edited by Elizabeth (edited 09-18-99).] |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I think it would be great to make this into a saga, if you like the idea as well, Artur! ------------------ *Elizabeth* "Dwelt a maid belov'd and cherish'd by high and low, But with autumn leaf she perish'd, long time ago..." |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Exquisite piece, as all of yours are....the title is so precise. Good work! I love how it makes me read into your thoughts....nice. ------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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Artur Hawkwing Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444USA |
It interests me that you discovered this by merely thinking of it. Yes, this is part of a longer saga, not finished actually. While writing it, I was thinking about Odysseus, or Ulysses, and also Christopher Columbus. Then I tried to somehow to imitate the Odyssey & Iliad way of speaking.. making the dialect of shipwreck seem as obsessed in the time as his. On the other side of the world, when you discover a "new world", most likely nobody will understand the language you are speaking. You're right, PAL, it's part of a uncompleted saga. I'll think about posting the other parts. Isis, I will think about it .... my schedule keeps me from posting everyday but I can try every other day! Thank you for believing this poem well done. Elizabeth, the idea appeals. We'll see! Fatale, I was thinking about the title and the poem, and there's only so few mentioning that there was a shipwreck. "my tongue speaks unknown words" pertaining to being a foreigner, "a wooden splinter towers above the sand" which is a faint image of the ship's remains which drifted to coast. More tha happy to share my thoughts with you. I feel rather blessed hearing that all my poems are exquisite. Thank you. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I wouldn't say it if you weren't worthy !!  Just as good the 2nd time around.....Thumbs Up !! I'll be checking in on you later....------------------ I beckon you to come...I lure you with my tongue... - poet FemmeFatale |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I liked this |
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