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Open Poetry #2
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Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32


0 posted 1999-09-23 09:19 PM



Warchild

born into a world of flaming hate
they play beyond the bullet’s gate
dreaming the dreams the same as you
but they live in a world of horrid truth
give them the innocence they were engaged
protect them from their father’s rage
let them not see the bodies fall,
it wasn’t even their fault after all.
yet they see it,and they don’t know why
why these men hate and why they die
you know this isn’t what they asked for
and here they are,living against this holy war.

© Copyright 1999 Lelly Shae - All Rights Reserved
Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32

1 posted 1999-09-24 06:57 AM


This sucks...new poem and on the 2nd page!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 1999-09-24 10:52 AM


Lelly.....this most certainly DOES NOT SUCK. It is a very gripping piece of poetry and so true of todays world. Children have no choice as to what they are born into, be it famine, war, abuse...you have done an excellent job in portraying that thought in this piece and I like the way you have written this...the rhthym and rhyme work well and it flows smoothly. Nice job and welcome to the group!!!

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

Julie
Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739
Houston, TX
3 posted 1999-09-24 04:43 PM


I agree with hoot; flows nicely and
an original topic, one that is
not written about enough.

------------------
Julie
-------------------------
Thou who has given so much to me,
give one thing more: a grateful heart.
>George Herbert




Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32

4 posted 1999-09-24 06:07 PM


I wasn't saying my poem sucked,I was saying
its sucks to be on the second page when I
just posted the poem...thanks a lot though
for all the comments

Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32

5 posted 1999-09-26 10:22 AM


I'm posting a reply so my poem can get back on the first page.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
6 posted 1999-09-26 11:29 AM


Lelly...for the misunderstanding and because I like what this poem has to say....up yo go again

------------------
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints in our heart and we are never ever the same.

Thank you all for leaving footprints!!

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