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To Brian and Lee
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To Brian and Lee |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
None of us have a choice in the lives that we will have when we are born. Some of us are born into families in which we are loved and nurtured, until we are ready to leave our happy homes. We eagerly go into our grown up lives, secure and confident, ready to face what the world has to offer. My niece Cheraine, was not as fortunate. Without any choice, she was brought into the world, destined to endure more suffering than many of us know in our entire lives. This is her life, in honor of her beautiful little boys, who never knew how far she came and how hard she fought, to create a special place in the world, just for them. To my nephews Brian and Lee, Is it too late to tell you about your mother? Sometimes I wonder if it is, but I have to tell you just the same. Some things can’t be left unsaid. She was born premature and had to stay in the hospital for about 2 months. Tiny, so tiny, like a little doll, she fought hard to live and grow. Her parents were young, living in shacks when they had the money, on the streets when they didn’t. They wandered in a drug- induced world that had no time for babies. So she was brought home from the hospital to my mother’s house. There were countless school nights, when I woke early in the morning to her cries, and took my turn walking the floors with her. I learned to feed her, and change her and hold her in the crook of my arm until she was finally asleep. I fell in love with her and after a while, I pretended that she was mine A year later I came home one day to find my brother and his wife sitting on the couch, holding hands and watching your mother play in her high chair. They wanted her back, not just part time but all the time, they could handle it now, they were older, off the drugs. Things were going to be better. The years went by and I grew up, got married and moved away. Though life was moving forward for me, things were not improving in your mother’s life. It seems her father was gone again, looking for work in some other town far away. She was 7 now and keeping an eye on her baby brother while her mother went out to the bars. It was hard to keep in touch, since they moved about every three or four months, barely giving her time to adjust to each of the countless schools she attended. Eventually though, I learned about the Christmas presents that her parents took back to the store in exchange for beer money, and the thin little coat in the middle of winter. I found out about the shoes with the holes in them, the mornings without milk and the concerned calls from the teachers. She lived with me again from time to time, or with other relatives who had just had enough and wanted to help. She was loved and cared for up until- each inevitable day, when one of her parents came back, promising us all, convincing us that things would change. Things were going to get better. I wasn’t surprised to hear the news, when she got pregnant with you Lee, at 15 years old, and Brian a year later. She was already living on her own with her boyfriend, determined that she could do a better job raising herself, rather then continue with the life her parents could offer. What surprised me, was the way she LOVED you. It was as if she could overcome her own past, by being the mother that she never had. She was determined to be the best mommy ever. She bragged about you Lee, going to kindergarten soon and Brian, Pre-school. When she came home in the afternoon, she took you on trips to the park or the zoo or for drives in her old beat up car. She sang that bumblebee song that Brian thought was so funny while she gave you your bath, and read the story that Lee liked, about the little train that could. The trailer wasn’t much, but your mom and dad owned it, and it was a place filled with happiness and peace. She was at work the morning of the fire, and your father was asleep on the couch while you took your naps. He tried so very hard to wake up when he heard you calling, but the smoke was thick and black and deadly. When he did, he couldn’t see and he was confused. The door locked behind him when he ran outside to turn on the hose. He couldn’t have known that the water would be turned off. Your mother must have heard you calling because she was sick at work and her face was hot and flushed. She finally had to leave; her heart said something was very wrong. On the way home she followed the sirens to your house and fought to get inside. She rode in the ambulance with you to the hospital and though the doctors tried to keep her away, she held you both while you died. She told me later after your funeral that you came to her in the night. That she saw you both, standing in your pj’s by the end of her bed. She said that you were both smiling and that Lee told her not to be sad anymore. Your mother collects angels all the time now, all sorts of angels, always little boys. I wanted to tell you a little bit about your mother and the life that she had before you were born. I wanted you to understand how much you both meant to her. You taught her that although life isn’t always easy or fair, there are those precious moments, however brief, that will always be remembered and cherished. I don’t need to tell you how much she loved you, I am sure that where ever you are, you already know. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Deborah L. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Wow Debbie this was truely amazing. I really liked it. But is this a true story??? |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Hi Erin, Thanks, this one did come from the heart and yes it's very true. Debbie |
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AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
Oh wow, this is so incredibly sad...I couldn't imagine living through something like that, I think a lot of us take it for granted that we are born into families that love us and care for us and we sometimes forget about the others. I hope your niece can find some kind of hope...no matter how long she's waited for it... **I didn't loose my mind it was mine to give away** ~Robbie Williams~ |
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