»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Bonding
| Passions in Prose |
|
Bonding |
|
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
The quarter moon shone as a haunting slice of promise through trees offering a shadow of peace. Time seemed to stop when the apex of light filters through and night sounds beckoned to steal sleep between midnight and dawn. "He's my best friend" she thought unable to sleep. "We tell each other everything, sharing and dreaming along with hopes and dreams others only mock. Why am I having these feelings for him? Nothing can ruin this bond, nothing, and I know I can never tell him how much I would love nothing more than to hold him in my arms and ask him to make love with me." Kimberly had fought insomnia before, and usually surrended to called Richard for the reassurance she needed, knowing that if he could, he would offer something, a joke, a word of comfort, and then she would slowly drift back to sleep. Not this time. She could not reveal how much she had grown to desire him, in a way she felt she had no right to. They had agreed on a close friendship, encouraging one and other through their lives, only bringing out the best in each other. He had always been there for her, never asking. Certainly her attraction was evident and yet she feared it was only on her part, for she never felt pretty, never worthy for a man to look at her that way, want to swallow her up in abandon and gather her to himself in passion unregarding time, rules, and lines. "I cannot cross this line, my own sister has warned me that once you cross it, you can never return, you lose something so incredibly precious and real it robs you of a treasure so rare." Kimberly fought tears and pain, knowing that in keeping silent she was guarding the friendship yes, but she was also denying herself a level of perhaps, a new awakening and a further bonding of a man and a woman who, starting out as friends could possibly be unmistakably lovers. "He wants someone else, loves someone else, and I can do nothing to interfere with that and yet I know in my heart it is not going to work out, I feel it but I can only stand by and wish the best, hope for the best for him, and for her." Kimberly sat up in her bed, swung her feet over the edge and touched the bare hardwood floor, moving quietly to the kitchen where she decided to brew a cup of tea and give in to these moments of reflection. "I can't sleep, I may as well sip a cup of tea and wait for this to pass" she thought. Would it? Could it? All she felt when she closed her eyes was his gaze, his arms, his lips and the kiss she had never received. Only a hug and a brief moment of anticipation when she had fumbled for her keys so weak in the knees she felt she would drown with embarrassment. "Stop giving in to your ridiculous imagination" she chided herself. The years offered many more times of closeness, sometimes an interlude of separation but they always returned to each other for a bond, a feeling of unashamed affection for life, for fear, revealing their guilt, their insecurities, and yes, they had. "He's a wonderful person, giving, thoughtful, vulnerable, strong." She felt this. No one else could have these friendship feelings for him, these little girl feelings blended in with the driving passion that made her very much, every inch a woman. "He must never know." and so she decided to remain still. The tea warmed, she curled up in a blanket and sat on her porch briefly while the moon seemed to blink and approve of her newly found resolve. "Yes, Mr. Moon, go on, tell me I'm a fool. I'm so in love I am a pool of mush, a romantic notion floating around down here, go on mock me, shine up there!!" she hugged her blanket, drank the last drop of tea and wearily walked back to her bed. "I love him enough...enough to keep still., unless someday the sun shines down hot enough, bright enough and all these shadows of doubt disappear and my words and feelings come exploding. Until then, I cannot lose him, for this comes along once in a lifetime." Feeling as if a fallen angel had descended upon her shoulder, she brushed these emotions aside and vowed to continue to be the supportive, honorable, loyal friend she had and wanted to be. Unless a destiny moved otherwise. Unless chance offered something more, for she feared the gamble was far greater that should she move forward, she would find herself shipwrecked without him in her life, and that, for Kimberly would be unbearable pain. And so she slept. Alone. Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Kathleen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I enjoyed this but it is so sad, probably because I've been in this situation. Thank you for a good read.  |
||
|
Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Irish Rose, a very sad little sketch, but very real, very unpretentious portrayal of inner feelings as opposed to outer bluster. Perhaps you could develop the themes of night/moon etc and how this environment reacts/reflects her state of mind. Just a suggestion, but I would have preffered if Kimberly/Richard, even sister were left out, making the story more vague and general, as befits the night. Anyway nice work, it has given me some ideas for the story I am writting at the moment. -Tim |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
