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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
This may sound whiny... It's an email I'll never send. Not very original, but it's from the heart. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ First off, I'm a little irritated that you haven't replied yet. I know it's only been three days but in Internet language that's three weeks, especially because I know you go online at least once a day. I've been checking practically every hour to see if you've responded, and you never do. I need a response. I need to know how you feel. Also, I'm very, very hurt. You used me. I think I know where you were coming from, but that doesn't make it okay. You could say I was asking for it. I was asking for something else. And you pretended to give it to me. You pretended for that one night, and then you didn't know what to do. You were "willing to try" to have a relationship. Willing to settle for me? Out of "loyalty." So being with me is your duty? Like a task? You didn't want to be with me. You just wanted action. The rest was just a compromise. A payment. What's worse is that I still want you. I believed, beyond a doubt, that I would kiss you again. That I would see that look in your eyes again, feel your hand on my cheek. If I had you, I wouldn't want you anymore. Because for a short while, after I believed you were mine, it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. I couldn't get enough of your touch, your kisses, your eyes... But then I started to reconsider. And almost immediately, you dropped me from heaven. Purgatory, at least. And now I need more. -7 [This message has been edited by 7 (edited 04-26-2000).] |
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WolfsMate Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 121New York |
I know these feeling so well. A heart felt piece. "You never have to worry...Never fear for I am near" |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi 7 Have you got your reply! Just out of curiousity, why do feel you were used by someone when you know to some extent you're in love? Can love be a duty or a task? I'm not sharpshooting, but I feel that my best friend also feels somewhat the same way. How can a person 'use' someother person and that too when in love dearly? I'm very unsure whether I can make it clear to my friend. I don't like her to go through these sorta emotions. If I had a wish in this world, it would be a god's eye to see thro' all the pains that she's going thro' and I'll give my life make every one of them vanish. I hope she does it someday,til then I wait. |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
Thank you for your replies.  amazon... I think the reason I feel used, and the reason I feel it would be a task for him if we had a relationship (he did say, when I accused him of doing it for guilt, "it wouldn't be out of guilt, but loyalty") it was because he was not in love. I don't think I ever was either. The moral here, of course, is communication. I would never send this email, but perhaps I should have. And had we talked before "that night," we'd understand each other better. As for your friend... well, I don't really know her situation, but I'll be a hypocrite and say maybe she should try communication as well. And we did talk after I wrote this (but never sent it) and the conversation was not nearly as in depth as the email, but it's less tense now, I suppose. I'm still hurt, but I'm getting over it. I'm sure your friend will too. 7 |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
hope she gets better soon and gets back into those cheerful moods agian |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
That was a true letter from the heart. No one deserves to go through something like that. Many know the feelings, and it is horrible. I know them all too well. Feel better soon! "It is in our aloneness that we recognize our oneness, even as the single droplet of water knows also that it is the sea."Daniel *Cassie Roseen* |
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