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The Day the Dandelions Died
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The Day the Dandelions Died |
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Mellon Collie Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49united states of america |
(i wanted my first post to be the story i've been so diligently working on, but i really needed an outlet for these emotions... i'd appreciate comments, encouragement, slaps-in-the-face, or critical analysis on this) The Day the Dandelions Died You swore to me with sugar-coated lips that you loved me with a love that would cross the vast expanses of time and space just to see me smile. You asked me to give unto you everything I have ever held dear: my love, my trust, my faith, and my hope. Now, having given freely I find that you have been holding back from me, reserving for yourself the things that you so urgently pressed me to release. You talked of wonderous dreams in which a simple touch from my hand brought you purpose in life, but now I see that all my words, all my efforts, and all the parts of my soul, body, and heart that I have so eagerly shared with you are not enough to satisfy these frightening desires that you have. Once you spoke to me of life and love and all things beautiful and sweet, and once upon a time you promised them to me for the simple price of my heart. I believed in you; I believed in your dreams and the things that you seemed to long for so eagerly. Now I see nothing but darkness and sorrow as I peer into the shadow of our future. You convinced me to give up everything for the virtue of love, yet you refused to do the same. There was a time when I had only you, and at that time I believed that I was your sole desire. I suppose I should not fault you for desiring more than I have to offer, but I cannot help but grieve the loss I have suffered in your name. Did I love you? Yes, and evermore will I love. Did you love me? I believe that you did, if only in your own mind -- or perhaps in mine. I believed that we shared something far more rare and precious than any jewel or gem could ever claim to be. We tasted ambrosia and drank from the cup of Aphrodite. Hand-in-hand we approached true love, but it seems that only one of us finished the sacred journey. Now you claim that your decisions are made difficult by the love we share, yet I cannot believe that love so pure as you have so often professed would entertain such thoughts as you have presented to me. Consider as you will, but I will continue to love despite your basest thoughts. My one remaining hope is that one day you will remember the smile you brought to my lips and venture to span both time and space just to see it once more. thank you for reading, the beautiful freak |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mellon Collie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Hope, tears, and renewal Member
since 2000-03-27
Posts 74 |
Wow. That's all I can say. Just wow. Incredible. |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
I've been seeing your replies to all the works in here and I've been waiting for you to post something. You didn't dissapoint me, that's for sure. This was an excellent piece of writing, I thought this was an especially good line: "We tasted ambrosia and drank from the cup of Aphrodite." Great job on the writing, I'd love to see more. Abrahm Simons Put one foot on the path of life and tread the dagger's path betwixt dark and light. |
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Mellon Collie Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49united states of america |
whoa... people actually responded! *whoo hoo* dear hope, i assume that was a good "wow", and for that i thank you  , but i'm afraid the circumstances under which this was written were far from incredible. rather melancholy (no pun on my name intended) actually -- perhaps even distraught and hopeless. i do thank you for your kind words though, and hope that in writing this i have allayed some of my frustrations and sorrows. dear dusk treader, thank you, also, for your kind words. i had also noticed your responses to most all of the works in the forum, but saw no writings of yours. i suppose we'll both have to post something else in the near future *hehe* i respect that that you respond to such a large percentage of the posts, it seems few people take the time to do that. i just hope that some of my "suggestions" aren't taken as offensive to anyone. i'm looking to better my writing skills in any way i can, and i can only assume that others have the same desire. as for the writing of this piece, it was done in a 5 or 10 minute flurry of words, feelings, and typos. the actual situation is perhaps overstated in this work, but the feelings associated with it certainly are not. again, thank you for reading and even more so for responding  sincerely, the beautiful freak |
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Nativetexan2 Junior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 13 |
What a great piece of writing. You were filled with a lot of emotion when you penned this. It is truly from the heart. I could feel your hurt in your words. I hope he remembers the smile, too. Rich If my heart had wings, I would fly to you And lie beside you as you dream I'd jump all these mountains and take to the skies sail through the heavens with stars in my eyes. Faith Hill |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Mellon, It is obvious that you write with much emotion and from places in your heart that few are willing to tread to for motivation. You have great use of imagery. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts. Jfreak |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
A piece written from the heart. Very well done ! |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Very lovely piece. I agree with Abe, I love the line "Wetasted ambrosia and drank from the cup of Aphrodite" Very good story, and I hope to see more Sometimes the most important things can't be seen with the eyes, but are rather felt with the heart. *Cassie Roseen* |
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