»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Regina-Response to Christopher's challenge
| Passions in Prose |
|
Regina-Response to Christopher's challenge |
|
|
patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
Hi christopher, this is a response to your challenge. I got really inspired by your idea, so i got right to it. Hope it provides some laughs, or at least some kind of recongintion with some readers. Darius’ friend Richard wanted to introduce him to a girlfriend of his named Regina. Darius had heard quite a bit about Regina, through Richard of course, and was unwittingly agreeing to the introduction. He didn’t really like “having” to meet somebody, because he felt silly and thought it was a little bit contrived-that there were certain expectations of the encounter that had to happen. Mainly, he felt reluctant because with these “introductions” there was the unsaid hope that he would “hit it off” with that someone, and felt somewhat obliged to do so in order to make Richard feel like he had done a good thing by introducing him. Richard had planned to introduce Regina to Darius at a party he was having to celebrate his graduation from film school. There was a long guest list, so Darius felt somewhat comforted by the numbers, in that such an introduction wouldn’t be the whole focus of the evening, and he would be able to slink away from her if things went awry. Darius was an attractive guy, but lacked in self-confidence, and when under extreme anxiety would sometimes end up stuttering his words. He was highly conscious of his problem of stutttering, and because of it, would often pre-emptively nullify conversations, so that he wouldn’t feel like an idiot as he stumbled over his words. Although he hadn’t done so in a long time, Darius was still wary of his stutter, and made a programmed effort, when talking with someone, to avoid it as best he could. The party began at 8pm. Several guests had already arrived, mostly people that Darius knew from acting class, so he milled around talking with them, with the selfish desire of maybe finding out hints of where to get work. Actors were a fairly neurotic bunch who, while enjoying other’s company, mainly enjoyed it for their own attention, and of what they could get from them, either on an emotional level, or as Darius was scheming, on a practical level of employment. While Darius was busy talking to some friends, Regina arrived at the party, and had begun taking her coat off to hand to Richard, when Darius, on a random scan of the room, happened upon her. (Holy ****, who’s that. I wouldn’t mind sleeping with her. Brunette, not bad, I can handle brunette’s, don’t like blondes, well, there was that last girl,-Darius laughed to him self in reflection- what the hell was her name? Josie? Josie and the pussycats-Darius sang in his mind-no it wasn’t, it was….) “So what do you think Darius? Do you want to go check out the audition next week, I think there’s two parts, one for a son, and one for a boyfriend to the daughter”, a friend said (Kylie!! That was her name, Kylie, yeh she was something else) “Yeh, sure, man, I’ll check it out. Next week you said?” (Damn where did that girl go) “Yeh, its next Wednesday. I’ll come by your place in the morning, we can grab some lunch and then go there in the afternoon”, the friend said (dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dunhdunhdunhdunhdunhdunhdunhdudnh) Darius was humming the Jaws score in his head while he circled around looking for the girl “Sure, Pat, sounds cool, as long as you don’t get the part”, Darius joked (If he gets the part, I’m quitting acting. He’s such a self important ass, what a….) “Dick”, his friends called out to Richard who was making his rounds of the party, and was bringing Regina over to introduce to Darius “Hey guys, having a good time” “Yeh, great party Dick”, Darius joked with Richard Richard hated being called Dick, but didn’t have the power to tell those people who called him that because they had taken it on as an affectionate nickname, and so Richard thought he would just let it hang there, pretending to be amused with their childish humour. Of course, Darius knew that Richard hated the nickname and would make fun of him for not telling people that he did. “Very funny Darius. You having a good time”, he asked “yeh…actually I am you know, I’ve weaseled myself an audition for next week, and there was this astonishing looking girl who just walked in” Darius looked around for reference but couldn’t find her “Who seems to have disappeared”, he finished “No actually, I think the one you are talking about is right here”, Richard turned around and brought up Regina, the brunette from behind him. “Darius this is Regina” (That smell…I know that smell, like earth, from when I was a kid, what was I doing there..I was playing Gijoe I think) “Hi, Vagina nice to meet you”, Darius said (NOOOOOO, did you say that, did you say that, did you say that, no you couldn’t have, no there’s no way you could have, you did, you did, you said it you dumbass, oh ****, what am I gonna do) “Uh,….umm…I mean Reg…reg..regin…regin…..”, Darius began to stutter (slow down, Darius, just slow down,calm down, its alright you can handle this, look she’s smiling, its okay, just relax, think of her in her underwear……wait, no, no no that’s ridiculous, don’t think of her in her underwear, just think of her as Aunt Jean with her broken teeth, she’s ugly, she’s ugly, she’s ugly, get a hold of yourself, she’s a beast) “Regina”, Regina finished Darius’ sentence with a laugh “I’m so ss…ssss..sss…ss…sss..ssorrrryy..I”, Darius kept going (she thinks I’m an idiot, she thinks I ‘m an idiot, hang on Darius, get a hold of yourself, just relax, breathe, do that lamaz stuff….what are you some kind of moron? Why are you doing lamaz, you’re not pregnant you idiot) “Its alright, I get that all the time. I guess its just one of those occupational hazards of having the name Regina”, she confessed. (Vagina!!Vagina!! Did she say vagina, no she couldn’t have, what did she say?) “GGGGGreatttttt…greattt. So ovvvv, iously, I’m not a unique moron, then”, Darius mustered, his stuttering was beginning to wane (your in a pond, throwing stones, you’re in a pond throwing stone, you’re in a pond throwing stones, its sunny out, the sunlight is beaming down, it’s a nice soft place, nice and soft, and warm it’s a warm place) “ha,ha. No you’re in good company. Actually my boyfriend…. (NOO, no , no, no. she can’t have a boyfriend, damn, damn, oh ****, ****KKKK) “sorry my ex-boyfriend. (Yes, yes yesyesyes, praise Jesus-Darius joked with himself-) “recent breakup, sorry, I’ve been doing that a lot”, Regina explained herself (hmmm, how recent? am I in? is there a chance, what should I say? Should I ask her about it, so I can get an idea of time?. Yeh, I’ll ask her….how will I ask her? How can I ask her? Is it my business? I don’t think its my place is it??) “Yeh, I know what that’s like, its like when the new year passes, and for like the month of January you keep using the old year, instead of the new one”, Darius’ stutter was completely gone now (duh!! That was genius man, pure genius, you idiot, that was the stupidest friggin analogy you could have used, dumb,….dumb….dumb, dumb) “ha,ha. Yeh, I guess you’re right. It is a bit like that. I never thought of it like that before”, Regina said enthusiastically (Ha,ha, you’re the man, yes sir, you are deee man….ha,ha. Wicked, wicked..) “so anyway, no I was just going to say that my ex-boyfriend’s father introduced me as vagina to the rest of the family at christmas dinner one year. It was the most humiliating experience of my life” (Oh, god, there’s that word again, unnhhhhh, that word bugs me. What should I do? Should I laugh at that, or not, is it too embarassing for her to laugh…..?” “Oh my god, are you serious? That’s crazy I wouldn’t know what to do”. Darius paused to think of something that he would do but was lost, the word vagina kept getting in his way… “Uhn, god, that’s uncomfortable” (think of something else to say, think of something else to say, what could you say to that, what could you say….i know you could say something like..it’s a term of affection, but no that’s kind of weird, it might suggest she were sleeping with the father….unh my god, you’re so sick, why do you think of these things you are such gross sonofabitch…. I know….no….too close to the line of deceny, there’s nothing…nothing) “Yeh, it was, I had no idea what to say, I sort of stood in complete shock, wondering what to say, but I couldn’t come up with anything, it was so horrible” she said (Yeh, no kidding) “Ouch, not easy territory to come up with a rebuttal” (where do I take the conversation? What should I ask her next? Her job, yeh, that’s a good one, her job) “No, not really”, Regina said, as she stared at the floor while moving her shoes shyly (oh man, she is so amazing, the way she does that with her feet, yesss, yesssss) “so what do you do for a living.. I mean are you a student or are you working?” (be a student, be a student, be a student) “actually I’m not doing either. I’m travelling right now, I’ve been working for the past year to finance this trip that I’m doing right now, where I’m driving across the country in a camper” (great she’s not a student, how can I hang out with her then? What am I supposed to do? I wonder if I can get with her before she leaves) “When are you leaving?” (two weeks two weeks two weeks) “I’m leaving tomorrow actually. I’ve got everything packed, deposited all my money to my checking account and I’m set.” (this isn’t fair, this is such crap, why can’t she be staying, what the hell is going on? This sucks) “Are you travelling with anybody?”, Darius asked, (should I see if I can go with her? Don’t be such a romantic dummy, you just met her, what the hell are you talking about, go with her? You watch too many movies!!) “No, not at first, but I’m meeting up with some friends when I get out to Manitoba, and then we’re making a pilgrimage to my namesake, Regina, in Saskatchewan” (Wow, real exciting, sounds like a friggin after school special. Oh don’t get your nuts in a bunch you’re just angry that she’s not a student) “Cool, sounds like fun, how long will you be gone for?” (two weeks two weeks two weeks, I can handle two weeks, that’s not too long, I can deal with that) “I’m going for four months, stopping in every province, and hopefully finding work along the way to pay for gas and food and things. It should be fun” ( Four month, chrissakes, that sucks, oh mannnn, this is so unfair. Screw this, there’s no point anymore) “Wow, sounds great, well I hope you have a great time. If you’ll excuse me I’m just going over to talk to some friends. It was nice meeting you…REGINA….ha,ha. Got it right this time” (Stupid ass, just get out of here as soon as you can, you’ve lost, there’s no consolation prize, just leave, leave) “Yeh, thanks, Darius take care” “Bye” “Bye” (Hmm…Strange guy.) |
||
| © Copyright 2000 patchoulipumpkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
LOL! This is quite an unexpected response to the challenge, but well met indeed!!! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
