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merlynh
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411
deer park, wa

0 posted 1999-09-27 08:58 PM


BAREFOOTED

There I was picking cotton in my bare feet and three rows down was Mrs.
Hawkins. No need for watch-in but surely caution. Because I didn't want no
trouble from that Mr. Hawkins.

The work was hard and the pain was the worst and I was far past working up
the thirst. That darn sun surely was making things hard. Why, I was clear
out of "yes-ums" and not saying any other words. If-in I knew what was good
for me. So on I worked. Hands bleeding and still ten acres to go. Blinded by
my own sweat. I'd only stop to wipe my head with my forearm and look up.

Yup! She...... was still there. And.......looking to my right. There was
Mr. Hawkins. Standing right next to me. What else could I do? I went back
to picking cotton.

"What you looking at boy?" he said in a stern voice.

"Why, just the cotton," says I.

"Why, that's all you better be looking at," says he.

"Yes-um," was my reply.

But just as sure as the sun was hot and their be sweat on my brow. I'd have
to wipe. And no matter how I tried. He seemed to be on to me. See? That's
what I meant about that caution.

Why Mrs. Hawkins wasn't much to look at. I was just plain gawking. Him
in his overhauls thinking he was boss when all I done was being neighborly.
Come over and helped him pick his cotton. I don't know why he called me boy
and I don't know why I was always saying "yes-um." Wee was both white just
as sure as white cotton. I was thinking and picking. Why was I picking this
cotton anyway? And why was wee playing this game anyway?

Why I just stood up and walked right up to that Mr. Hawkins. I stood tall and
looked him right in the eye. And said, "Yes-um". He looked down-right mean
at me. I thought I was going to wet myself. He flared his nostrils like some
bull and grunted back. Why, I was wide eyed and ready to run. Then he curls
his lip into the biggest grin I ever seen. "Why are you helping me pick this
cotton anyway?" says he.

With a surprise look on my face I says, "That's? It's? The neighborly thing
to do." He looks long and hard out into the field and there seems to be a
stillness that lasts forever. And then he signals to his wife to come on
over looking out of the corner of his eye at me. "Why were you gawking at my
wife?" he asks me looking suddenly straight into my face. I was scared I must
admit and that Mr. Hawkins looked mean to me.

Why, he towered over me. Seemed like nearly three feet. And now it was my
turn to look hard in a stillness that seamed to last forever. But there
weren't no time. There come Mrs. Hawkins closer with every step she took,
and with every step I tried to swallow.

"Yes-um," I swallowed. "Yes-um?"

Mr. Hawkins took a deep breath and let it out slow. One of those
last forever kind. Then he suddenly let it out all at once just as Mrs.
Hawkins come up to him. "Why don't you go and get us some lemonade. I think
the boy here and me are thirsty."

Boy! Boy? I was tried of being call a boy. I was just the man he was and I
was going to tell him that too. But then he looked at me in that mean way
and I got frighten. "Does that sound all right to you boy?" he says.
"Yes-um," I swallowed. "Yes-um?" Looking confused he looked up. "You are
really thirsty. Aren’t you? B..oo..y."

And suddenly stopped like in a middle of a sentence. "What is your name
anyway?"

I tried to swallow but couldn't. "Yes-um?," is all I could get out.

Mrs. Hawkins come from the house with a pitcher and three tall glasses. We
sit on the picnic table under a large umbrella and I finish three glasses
before I could swallow again. "Tommy!" I shouted.

Both Mr. Hawkins and Mrs. Hawkins pulled their heads back looking puzzled.
"Tommy? Is that you name boy?" she asked. "Yes-um," says I.
"Well Tommy," said Mr. Hawkins. "You still didn't tell me why you keep
looking at Mrs. Hawkins all day." I was so embarrassed I seemed to not be
able to talk again and the tears started running out of my eyes. I was a man
and men weren't suppose to cry and maybe that's why I felt so bad from there
on. And it took them a while waiting before I could contain myself to answer.

"She looks like my grandmother," I said. Letting out all the memories all
at once bought the tears back more than ever. "She died," I added softy.

I could see Mrs. Hawkins look down at the table and sigh. I.....I could even
tell that Mr. Hawkins sighed too. But just a little it was hard to tell
between that mean face he had.

"My name is Ray," he said smiling., "And my wife's name is Rose."

But I could see him thinking as he paused. "Your about sixteen are you Tom?"
he finally said. "Aren't you?"

"Yes-um," I replyed.

"Yes-um," I swallowed.
"Yes-um?" Is all I
could say when I was around Jamie. She was Ray's and Rose's granddaughter.
And boy was she pretty. And all I could do is the looking.


by Merlyn Hearn,
Copyrighted 1999

© Copyright 1999 merlynh - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-09-27 10:09 PM


Welcome to Passions in Prose!

Official greeting, don't you know.

------------------
Now and forever my heart hears ~one voice~.
DreamEvil©


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
2 posted 1999-09-28 03:58 AM


Ditto the welcome!

Official echo don't you know!


An interesting piece here. I must admit I had a bit of difficult time getting into the syntax, but after amoment it grew on me. Well done indeed and I look forward to more!

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 1999-09-28 08:24 AM


Merlyn, my friend! How great to see you here! I truly *loved* this.... the dialect is very well done and the story line kept me involved right through 'til the surprise ending. Very cool, indeed. Your style and voice draws the reader in and I could actually picture the boy in the cotton fields.... I could SEE this!

Good work and welcome to Passions. I know you'll really love it here.

dp

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