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rm711
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 131
Wiltshire, England

0 posted 2003-08-06 04:39 AM



I had to say goodbye, the hardest thing I’d ever done. I had so little time left, but I knew it was coming, it had happened so many times over in my nightmares, so many times that I’d never go to sleep. He was everything, all the family I had left, my only chance to be happy again. I’d only met him yesterday. But that didn’t matter, because he meant everything to me. And now I just had to accept the end.

I hugged him, then stepped out into the cold, it was raining, not like it usually did, this was real rain. As it hit me again and again I started to cry. It didn’t matter anymore, this was the last goodbye. So I looked at him. I could see it in his eyes he wasn’t scared, or angry, he had nothing to fear anymore. So I turned, and in that moment I’ve never been so scared.

There he was, standing there, with his gun pointing straight through me to him. He shouted…three…two… I jumped flat to the floor…one. He had turned the gun on himself, he’d fallen bleeding now he was turning it around. No there was no way this was going to happen. I jumped, grabbed the gun, wrenched it from his blood stained hand and threw it behind me. I didn’t hear it fall so I knew he must’ve caught it but there wasn’t much time.

I got up, but as I did, so did he, he stumbled past me, and I turned. The gun was pointed straight to the back of his head, he had frozen. His only movements the shudders of his weak, dying limbs. Nobody said anything, nobody moved. I couldn’t make him fire that gun, maybe part of me was hoping he wouldn’t. So, I turned away, silent, and I walked into the rain.

I just want something,One thing,Can’t you let me have someone,Anyone,Just for me,And this is what I seem to be,To everybody,Your last resort

© Copyright 2003 Rosie Mitchell - All Rights Reserved
Lexia
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 111
Nowhere
1 posted 2003-08-08 10:26 PM


This is a little confusing. Maybe if you put names to the characters it might make it a little easier to understand.

Good work,
Lex

You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

rm711
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 131
Wiltshire, England
2 posted 2003-08-09 04:57 AM


yeach i know its confusing but i cant put names to the characters because i dont know who they are...it was just a dream...

"sitting on the corner of nowhere road just between I wish I could and I don't know"

Lexia
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 111
Nowhere
3 posted 2003-08-09 11:01 AM


You could alway just put names to them, maybe flesh them out some more.

Lex

You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

rm711
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 131
Wiltshire, England
4 posted 2003-08-09 11:21 AM


ok il try...thanks

"sitting on the corner of nowhere road just between I wish I could and I don't know"

rm711
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 131
Wiltshire, England
5 posted 2003-08-14 09:52 AM


Edited and Expanded Version

Nothing

If I stand in front of a mirror with his picture in my hand it’s comforting to see him by my side. It’s the only way we can be together now. I’m just hanging onto a little thread of something that without I’d have nothing at all…

It was a bitterly cold winter the day they died, my mum and dad. I was an only child stuck alone in a world built on dodgy foundations and distorted dreams. I remember sitting in my room listening to that song. I loved that song. They were always out, but when I played that song I felt like I had someone right there with me, that I was never alone. Then the police turned up and it all just spilled out.
So it was that Friday that my plane was leaving for New York. A brother I had never known even existed, who had never known I existed either. It was just too much to take in. And I’ll never forget that week we had, the best days of my life. But the nights became something I’d dread more than anything. He used to play that song to try and help me sleep, but in the end nothing would work, I had to tell him about the dreams…

I had to say goodbye, the hardest thing I’d ever done. I had so little time left, but I knew it was coming. This night had repeated itself so many times over in my nightmares. Even before I had even known I had a brother to dream about. So many times I’d felt this pain that I’d never go to sleep. He was everything to me, my brother, all the family I had left. My only chance to be happy again. I’d only met him a week ago. But that didn’t matter, because he meant everything to me. And now I just had to accept the end.

I hugged him for what felt like forever but it could never be long enough, then stepped out into the cold night. It was raining, but not like it usually did. This was real rain. As it hit me again and again I could no longer hold back the tears welling in my eyes. It didn’t matter to me to live anymore; this was the last goodbye. The last time I’d see him, the only person that made my life worth living. I looked right into his eyes, he wasn’t scared, or angry, he had strength that I couldn’t even comprehend. But all the same I could just tell he was hurting. I couldn’t bear it anymore. So I turned, and in that moment I’ve never been so lost and so alone.

There he was, just like in the dream, standing there. With his gun pointing straight through me to my brother. What was going on, he had turned the gun on himself, he fired, it hadn’t happened like this before. He’d fallen bleeding now, inches from death. He was slowly turning the gun around. No, there was no way this was going to happen. I couldn’t let that scum take my brother’s life. I jumped, grabbed the gun, wrenched it from his blood stained hand and threw it behind me. I didn’t hear it fall so I knew my brother must’ve caught it but there wasn’t much time.

I got up, but as I did, so did he, he stumbled past me before I could take any of it in, so I turned. The gun was now pointed straight to his head, he had frozen. His only movements the shudders of his weak, dying limbs. Nobody said anything, nobody moved. I couldn’t make him fire that gun; maybe part of me was hoping he wouldn’t. So, I turned away, silent, and I walked into the rain.

Because sometimes even when in that final moment when nothing seems possible, no hope is there. That moment where fate lends a hand, sometimes, it’s not enough to change what’s inevitable. Everything has an end.

[This message has been edited by rm711 (08-15-2003 06:39 AM).]

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