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scream
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scream |
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
I scream. In frustration. In outrage. I scream. In pain. I scream. I’ve been over looked, passed by. The eyes pass over me. The eyes see through me. To the eyes I don’t exist. To the eyes I am nothing. To the eyes I am less than nothing. The eyes upon me, or lack there of, say I’m not good enough. Say I am not welcome, say I don’t belong. I’d like to think I could ignore it, but the pain of rejection is relentless. The ignored cannot ignore. I dream of being seen, of being glimpsed, of being acknowledged that life courses through my body. I dream, but reality is a nightmare. Falling helpless into a pit of worthlessness, I scream. In a sea of unseeing eyes, I scream. I scream, but without a voice, no one hears. every day is a new day with which we can change the world |
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| © Copyright 2001 Keith W. Mullin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Interesting piece. It seems you've spoken of what i've felt for the past 2 years... you scream, but there is no one to hear you. What inspired this? nicely done. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other course, no other way... No day but today" |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Well done, Keith. Are you actually feeling this way? Or are you screaming from a "zone", in the abstract world of human expression? I want you to know, if you feel this way, and it is about your work, that your feelings are unfounded. I have read your writing and it is very good! The reason I say this is: I have felt this way, OMG, so many times!! But ya know what? If this isn't the way you're actually feeling, then you are one heck of a good writer, 'cuz you had me convinced, man!! Good job. P.S. You can IM me: coyotebilly@hotmail.com on MSM, "the lines are open" let's talk. "The poet is the priest of the invisible." Wallace Stevens [This message has been edited by coyote (edited 03-26-2001).] |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Some really disturbing thoughts here... we all have times that we feel like this, and I just hope that the nightmare is ending for you. Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Quite original, I thought that if you made line breaks to this it could even be considered poetry.  But I admire your putting it in paragraph form, it gave it more of a sense of unity. ~Allan The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further" |
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HM3 Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 169TX |
It is a lonely thought. Screams can be so loud that you would expect people from miles away could hear them and yet, they go untamed, unanswered. No one hears them but you and that is anything but comforting to the troubled soul. ~Hugs~ A sometime screamer and full time dreamer Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching... |
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
Thank you all for replying. Dawn~ I hope things are going better for you now  Coyote~ thanks for your concern, it both is and isnt how I was feeling at the time, I was stressed and frustrated, but then again when arnt college students? Thanks again Love Bug~ Thanks for reading Allan~ I did consider puting it in poetic form but decided that this suited my needs better. Thanks for reading HM3~ 'round here screams never go unheard. thanks Keith every day is a new day with which we can change the world |
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Pearls_Of_Wisdom Member
since 2000-09-02
Posts 175 |
Wesley, I can definitely relate. I'm don't know if my experience is perhaps a little different, but usually when I feel no one is paying any attention to me and my pain, it usually means that's exactly how I'm treating myself. Of course, other people are helpful for different things, but, unfortunately, even if the entire world thought I was great, I could still managed to be depressed if I didn't believe it myself. There. That's my speech. Don't know if that helps or irritates, but as someone who's been there (and who still visits there from time to time), that's the wisdom I've picked up. As for a critique.... You conveyed the emotion very well without breaking the illusion and getting the "oh come on" reaction. I agree that it does resemble poetry, but I think you're right: this format works best. I thought the structure and way it was told in general helped to get across a stream-of-consciousness idea, plus a feeling of panic and anxiety. I don't have any major suggestions; it looks good as is to me. One small technical point: passerby and overlooked are each one word, instead of two. Anyway, keep up the good work and hang in there! At least you can be certain that even if no one hears you screaming, odds are, someone else is screaming too. Ashley |
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
Ashley~ thank you very much for replying, I think we all visit that horrible place from time to time, hopefully not too often though. Thanks also for the critique, you might not have said much, but it helps none the less, thanks for pointing out my technical error, Im full of them. Thanks again. Keith every day is a new day with which we can change the world |
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Night_Myst Junior Member
since 2000-08-16
Posts 34River Falls, WI |
I think we all scream. Whether someone hears us or not, is where we scream, and how we do it. If a man screams in the middle of the woods and no one is there to hear him, can anyone help? If a man whispers in a crowd of people, can anyone do anything? |
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