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If Only
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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If Only |
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Renee Junior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 18langhorne, PA 19047 |
If only a snap of my fingers Could bring me closer to you. If only a bite of a cookie Could shrink me into your pocket. If only a click of your heels Could bring you home to me. If only a magic mirror Could show me your smiling face. If only a Fairy Godmother Could turn a pumpkin into a jet. If only life were a fairy tale Where wishes do come true. Then I know I'd see you Much more than I do. To see your smiling face Morning, noon, and night. If only it were as simple as Cookies, mirrors, and dreams. Then maybe we would know Our love is stronger than it seems. Linda Renee |
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| © Copyright 2000 Renee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Very sweet. I enjoyed reading it. |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
Renee, I loved the sentiment here, being in much the same frame of mind myself these days. (12 thousand miles and a quick hello to Cassie, who may be lurking here). That said, I was a bit distracted by the mix of rhyme and no rhyme. I felt I rhyme throughout would have made me like it even more. Thanks. It's never too late to have a happy childhood ... |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Renee, I found this very sweet...and I must agree that life would be much easier if fairy tales were a reality. Alas,we must only read and dream. I have to agree with John that rhyming the entire would have maybe added to it...however, I found it very heart-warming. Nice work! Hawk |
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Renee Junior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 18langhorne, PA 19047 |
Thank you everyone for your responses. I did not try to rhyme when writing it, but I agree it would flow better if I did. When revising I think I will try to rhyme throughout. Thanks again. Linda Renee |
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