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A Shot at the Blues
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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A Shot at the Blues |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
I'll try anything once, so here's likely the only time in my life I'll try "the blues." (Please don't beat me about the ears for the word "babe," ladies -- I'm just trying for an authentic feel.) It's all right, dear, I just a little bit crazy. Yeah, it's all right, dear, I just a little bit crazy. Sure it's you makin' me a little bit crazy, But ain't your fault, dear, So it's all right. I don't care, babe, Bein' a touch melancholy. No, I don't care, babe, Bein' a touch melancholy. Sure it's you makin' me a touch melancholy, But ain't your fault, babe, So I don't care. Never you mind, love, 'Bout my cryin' all the night. No, never you mind, love, 'Bout my cryin' all the night. Sure it's you makin' me cry all the night, But ain't your fault, love, So never you mind. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Being a Blues-Baby myself, I have to tell you this has promise but it needs more of a story, less reverb...you have a collection here of good choruses...how bout the story line...? please? All good blues tell a real goooood story bout luv and beee-trayl...So brother...haze says...Bring it on! |
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Hawk183 Member
since 1999-12-24
Posts 130 |
Ted, I gotta agree with Haze about a story being needed. However, I like the feel. its a lighthearted blues piece. Good use of dialect...that really added a lot. Hawk |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I agree with Haze but would also argue that song lyrics really just don't cut it as poetry. Far too often, the music is what carries the feeling, not the words. I like the Blues as well (although more for the guitars than anything) but when I actually start hearing the lyrics as poetry, I have to admit I'm not a big fan. Of course, I'll change my mind if you take me to a blues club and buy the scotch (I'm easily influenced, you know).  Brad |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
I liked it, but also agree those could be the choruses between a story line. Brad, I totally disagree with you about lyrics not being poetry! There are multitudes of songs that are just poetry set to music. I don't want to cite one example, because there are just too many that come to mind. Hope you rethink your statement.... warmhrt |
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Renee Junior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 18langhorne, PA 19047 |
I can feel the rythem of the blues, but I agree it needs a story. What you have so far is good, but if you added more it would be better. Linda Renee |
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John Foulstone Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 100Australia |
Ted, sounded OK to this ear, but I agree with the storyline comments. Mind ya, tho', there's been plenty of successful songs with even less story than yours. As for lyrics being poetry, I respectfully submit Goo Goo Dolls "Iris". And the list could go for pages. It's never too late to have a happy childhood ... |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Ted: I agree with the others that what is missing here is a conflict/resolution that would paint a clear picture for us (a necessary element, in my opinion, in any poem, free-verse or structured). I agree with Brad to a degree about song lyrics not USUALLY cutting it as poetry. But I think good lyrics can very well be poetic. The Old Testament Psalms, for example, are certainly poetic AND were originally set to music. Shakespeare also wrote several songs. But let's be wary of assuming that ALL song lyrics are poetic. Jennifer Lopez sometimes has me banging my head against the wall with her lyrics but she's so damn cute that I just can't help overlooking her transgressions.  I respectively submit Creed's "My Own Prison" but will personally shoot anyone who suggest's ANYTHING by Ricky Martin. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
For the most part I would agree with Brad that song lyrics ususally don't make very good poems. But there certainly are outstanding contradictory examples. Much of what Paul Simon and Carol King wrote, for example, would make excellent poetry. Of course there are the obligatory "oh yeas" and "doo dahs" which seem to be the easy way to fill the empty time required for music's regular measure system. Although, if one looks at much of Simon's music, it didn't seem to bother him much to vary the time signature on a measure by measure basis apparently to make the music fit the words. And it still came out good. (My humble opinion only.) I should add that I really enjoy the blues but mostly for the music rather than the words. But, to each his own, as they say. Pete |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Gonna add my two cents again re: song lyrics being poetry. I feel that Van Morrison's "Moondance", "Into the Mystic", and other songs he's written are very poetic. Jagger and Richards have written, in my opinion, some very poetic lyrics i.e. "Sweet Virginia", "Dead Flowers", "The Spider and the Fly", etc. The Moody Blues had some poetry in quite a few of their songs, as do the more contemporary Jewel and Alanis Morissette. Even "The Wallflowers" ditty, "One Headlight" is a song I would consider poetic. Okay, I've said enough. I know everyone's entitled to their own opinion...just thought I'd try to sway a few over to my side. |
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