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Poetry Reading
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Poetry Reading |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
Hi there, i just wrote this piece, and thought it was pretty good, but wanted to put it to others to see if there is anything good here. Thanks On stage at the poetry reading I read, and people listen to me They look at me because I know something I’m going to give them something that they have never had before For the five minutes it takes, I’m the king I’m in control You are my ears Without mouths Only listening Absorbing If I’m good, maybe even wondering I take you to where I was, to where I felt To where I knew And I show you what it was like Bring you as close to it as I can Until you all clap And tell me that’s enough We liked it Interesting you tell me It’s a good story But we have to be quiet Its time for the next reader |
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| © Copyright 2000 patchoulipumpkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Yes, yes, I've been there, and you took me right back. It's scary . . . both how little real reaction we're satisfied with, and how doubtful we are nevertheless that anyone *really* listened. And then the fear that *we're* not listening enough to others to deserve their listening to *us*. And now I've got to do some heavy thinking about the similarities and differences beteen poetry readings and these forums. Is your poem any good? Sure is as far as I'm concerned. It got a real reaction, mind and emotion, and that's what poetry's for. Thanks. |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
honestly, i don't care for the poem. i've never read my poetry aloud, so i can't tell if this is what it feels like. there are a few lines which i think could be changed. On stage at the poetry reading I read, and people listen to me read, reading. sounds kind of bad. just on principle, i don't like the "and people listen to me". it's kind of unrealistic. of course, you could have them in rapt attention, but that seems so idealistic. also, the way the line is phrased, sounds like "when i talk, people listen". a little domineering. Until you all clap And tell me that’s enough We liked it they like it? they always like it? i don't know, this poem just doesn't do it for me. if there was more of a mixture of emotions. it also kind of reminds me of those old 1940's movies that would always take place, at least a little in a nightclub or theatre, so that there could be song and dance numbers. when i was younger, i called them "show-shows". to me, this is a "poem-poem". it's a poem about reading a poem. i just didn't care for it. |
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