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Inside Ice
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Inside Ice |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Inside Ice Calm, cool, ice No feelings touch me Cold, empty, snow Nothing escapes me Chiseled from gusty life Shaped from clay frozen I'm an ice princess Will the wind never release me? Collected, you say Indifferent to you Withdrawn from the world you wish you scream you wish you leave I'm an ice princess Will the fractures never stop? Touches to reach for Pulling away from the warmth afraid I would melt Caresses dreamed at night Waking alone, lonely crying the parts that have thawed Words straining to say Only to write on paper thrown away needlessly Chances wanted again To do something different the mistakes permanent I'm an ice princess Will the feelings ever return again? Raging inside Beneath is a heat I ache Under the ice is a child wanting crying dreaming sleeping cold Skin deep there is a heart Frozen in ice Afire with cold Dying alone There is a fire deep Blazing and passionate the fire burns eternal Not to be snuffed in the harshest storm the ice melts, renews, thaws, cracks the fire lives still I'm an ice princess Will the fire inside never bloom? I'm an ice princess Locked in an ice tower outside it rages a blizzard I'm a china doll Cracking under the strain the shards falling bit by bit I'm a lonely child Wishing on an invisible star only to wake from a dream I'm a tortured soul Love chained on a cold leash dying a painful death I'm a nightingale With so many things to say but no tongue to say it I'm a snow maiden Beautiful as purity no color of my own I'm myself Melting away into oblivion teardrops staining my heart I'm an ice princess Will I ever find myself? Inside, there is a fire slowly dimming in storm's power Inside, there is a child wasting away in broken dreams Inside, there is a woman with so much love to give Inside, there is a princess alone in an empty castle Inside, there is a lovely heart frozen in ice Inside is me I'm an ice princess "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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| © Copyright 1999 Tiffany - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Astraea: I must admit I have been guilty once again of judging a book by its cover. "Inside Ice" as a title just didn't grab my attention. But after finally reading the poem, screw the title.  This is very well written. I hesitate to offer much in the way of critique (free-verse not being my forte ... yet). You seem quite capable of listing words and phrases alike in order to pound your point across. Examples of words being used thus: "Withdrawn from the world you wish you scream you wish you leave" and "Under the ice is a child wanting crying dreaming sleeping cold" And a series of phrases (in my opinion, the most powerful part of your poem): "I'm an ice princess Locked in an ice tower outside it rages a blizzard I'm a china doll Cracking under the strain the shards falling bit by bit I'm a lonely child Wishing on an invisible star only to wake from a dream" et seq. My suggestion: Keep writing. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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dispatch debbie Junior Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 16Michigan |
Astraea, Being a novice, my opnion is offered as such. I could relate, as a woman and poet of sorts. In style, the contrast of fire & ice as one element was excellent. I grabs. I agree that perhaps the title would have if it were more exemplary of content...ie. Ice Woman or something attention getting. Enjoyed it. Debbie |
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