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the fear
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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the fear |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i can recall now a hundred thunderstorms counting in between claps of thunder 1,2,3,4,5,6.... and then a shaking clash while i crouched with my arms around my legs so sure that lightning would strike me and when i had a slight slip of the tongue as a child i'd sit and be afraid of them 1,2,3,4,5,6... audible footsteps down the hall of the denounced, blase and bitter, while i alone let my stomach twist itself up in fright then finally, the best fear of all by far i'd carve into my wrist with a kitchen knife 1,2,3,4,5,6.... scars and streams of blood against my skin because the greatest fear is not to die but rather to have to live "Come night, come darkness, for you cannot come too soon or stay too long in such a place as this." Charles Dickens roxane |
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| © Copyright 1999 roxane - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Is "versatility" your middle name Roxanne? The first word that comes to mind is "chilling". The progression from irrational fear to insane despair is very effective. You ever consider writing a short story? Enjoyed this, Roxanne (if "enjoyed" is the right word). Very well done. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I've just about stopped shaking now Roxane .. I'm now trying to work out whether the unbelievably unsettling effect this had on me was more to do with the poem itself or because it was written by a friend. Objective critique can be difficult I think under such circumstances. The repetition of the numbers had a startling resemblance to the poem recently posted where one hundred and five was repeated, it is certainly an effective "device". still trying to get my mind round the excellent: "audible footsteps down the hall of the denounced, blase and bitter, while i alone let my stomach twist itself up in fright" back later maybe .. Philip |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
roxane ~ i like this poem a lot... it's meaning is simply, yet cleverly stated and i think it's something that hits home with all mankind... i know it does with me... sincerely, **jerome the boy with no brain |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
you know what? i've written several short stories. there's one in prose, (go way way way back and it's there) that i never finished typing into the computer. if anybody is interested in reading it and replying (via email), then i would most certainly accept comments. (i think that it's called "my first real attempt here", not sure) the compliment on my versatility really makes me happy. however, i always see myself as writing the same thing over and over, am i? i have to say though, P** that i wrote this before i read brie's poem, and have actually edited it (gasp gasp, icy chill effect from hell freezing over) before i posted it. anyways, thanks for replying, but i couldn't resist the urge to tell about my short story, as they are my passion. |
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Roxanne, this is fabulously chilling...the depths devined of terror...One word my friend...WOW! |
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