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Critical Analysis #1
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Confinement
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Confinement |
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jaxjoy Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 112Texas |
How you admonish me with your silence. Likened to a martyr, making your contribution to some moral cause. How morality sickens me. Yet, inside I can still feel the lingering glow of an angel's kiss upon my brow. This fever immobilizes me, rendering me helpless, flailing, stranded in this dream. I think upon my moments of splendor, trying to release this pain I hold captive. Chained to mediocrity, hypocrisy. Enslaved to this fleeting passion. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Jacqueline Vachier - All Rights Reserved | |||
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haze Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528Bethlehem, PA USA |
Beautifully written, well in sinc...You draw from the depths of sadness well, the image and emotion of forbidden love, unrequitted is sooooo tangible...KUDOS |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i like the choice of words in this poem, but it seems that the transition between stanzas is not as clear as it could be. there is some excellent imagery here. welcome to passions, i'm looking forward to your next post. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
It's a little late but welcome to Passions and I hope you have a kind, comfortable time here.  I enjoyed the first two stanzas of your poem but I think it got away from you in the last. It almost sounds like you've written two poems here. Wonder if you might give us some background information to help us understand it a bit more and tell us what you're goals are with poetry?Another thought, I think the third stanza could be developed into still another poem but the fourth, to my way of reading, is too vague without a lot more description. Thanks, Brad |
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