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Critical Analysis #1

TV Dinner

armanca
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 211
Tennessee

0 posted 1999-12-03 04:25 PM

TV Dinner

Formality becomes a rule for society,
and ugliness shows his face to the sight of change
Change becomes a friend
Change becomes an enemy
Depending on what you ate that day.

Carman

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 1999-12-07 08:58 PM

So, are we attempting a little pig latin with the name?

My guess is you've already got the low down on multiple postings in different forums and posting multiple poems at one time (it doesn't help you). If you have any questions, e-mail me.

That said, let's take a look at this:

Formality becomes a rule for society,

--which begs the question: when wasn't formality a rule for society?

and ugliness shows his face to the sight of change

--personification is fine but give 'ugliness' a little personality along with it. Seems a bit too close to 'rears its ugly head' -- play with this image a bit more and see what happens.

Change becomes a friend
Change becomes an enemy

--nothing wrong with a little dialectical footwork but it's just sort of there (You've changed your TV dinner selection?) -- expand this and show us in what situations 'change' is both a friend and an enemy.

Depending on what you ate that day.

--hmmm, a poem about indigestion? I have to admit I like the idea a lot but wonder if there isn't more that can't be done here.

Just an opinion,
Brad

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