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Claustrophobic M(i)me
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Claustrophobic M(i)me |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
Claustrophobic M(i)me Another room to cast my shadow: Blueberry candle shed light on the empty places, behind closed doors with a cricket concerto, old carpet floor says it's safer not to walk. So I fly with the rest, still only a guest it the house that houses removeable faces, whose various colors have faded with time, weathered by the wind's relentlessness. This mask over here wears the paint of a mime; whose frightened hands feel the walls the ceiling and floors, and it seems this tiny room will give me no more-- More that is less, or a question at best, which is still misguided fantasy feeling for a corner to place my face. |
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| © Copyright 2001 mark woolard - All Rights Reserved | |||
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
Mark, This is a very intriguing poem. It seems that it could be about feeling lonely in a crowd of people at a party, or feeling ashamed and weak in a crack house. Can you offer some insight on what you were thinking at the time. Don't get me wrong I don't think you need to clarify your thought, I think the poem is great. I'm just not assembling the pieces of the puzzle correctly. Anyway thnks for the read. J.L.H. Jason God is a warm whisper from the cool void. Jack Kerouac |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
Hey, J: This poem is a collage (i guess) of feelings and images that represent being cut off from the world; being afraid of showing your (my) true face; and feeling the despare of being trapped in a place you could easily leave. The imagery can be interpreted in many, many ways. But I will tell you that the mime "lives" in a house with walls that restrict only him, and changes his masks frequently, but ultimately, only for himself. The last line is a symbol of self-punnishment, and how good intentions to provide positive discipline for yourself can sometimes result in self-abuse and solitude. It's also something I'm sure pepo;e can relate to: "Go stand in the corner!" Hope this helps. When I wrote it, I had no real ideas to paint--as usual. I just blended emotions and images (real and abstract), with the hopes of ending up with a poem. Thanks for responding, and any other questions will be answered to the best of my abilities. Thought I haven't had the chance to do it often, discussing my words feels very good! |
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M'Hal Junior Member
since 2001-01-04
Posts 15 |
Mark- That was freakin' awesome. I liked the abstract feeling I got. I didn't really get the title, though, could you explain? M'Hal |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Mark, Very enjoyable poem. I had to read it a few of times to get the impact but each reading added to the images and understanding. I really don't have any suggestions. For the most part it flowed exceptionally well. There were a couple of lines which sort of broke that flow but I guess I have to confess to being a hopeless structurist and not much of a free verser. Enjoyed the read. Thanks. Pete Imagination is more important than knowledge Albert Einstein |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
M'Hal: the title? ha. . .who knows? i was just playing around with what a perentheses can do, and kept it like that. M(i)me= "M(i)" (my in spanish i think) "(i)me" (i, me) "Mme" (madammeoiselle in french i think--a joke) (i)= I, me, myself, claustrophobic confused yet? N.A.P.: Glad you enjoyed it! in my defense i will testify to the fact that i sometimes purposely interrupt the rhythm/flow/rhyming schemes. don't know why exactly. |
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Pearls_Of_Wisdom Member
since 2000-09-02
Posts 175 |
Mark, I really enjoyed all the layers and the crypticness (if that's a word) of this. It had a very eerie, surreal feel, too. My favorite part was probably the last line, although I interpreted it differently that you've stated. I thought it meant resigning yourself to the falseness of it all and just trying to blend in with the other people wearing masks. I can definitely see your interpretation as well. Btw, did you mean "in [instead of 'it'] the house that houses / removeable faces"? I was going to ask about the title, but you've explained that already. Anyway, nice job. I totally respect anyone who doesn't try to force a structure or a particular meaning, even if that means the readers might actually have to do some thinking of their own! =) You can get some really neat work that way, I think. I'll look forward to more, Ashley |
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mere thought New Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 6 |
Another room to cast my shadow: Blueberry candle shed light on the empty places, I LOVE THE LIGHT, SCENT AND THE SPACE behind closed doors with a cricket concerto, old carpet floor says it's safer not to walk. BEING TRAPPED WITH MUSIC, AND A HOVERING THOUGHT So I fly with the rest, still only a guest it the house that houses removeable faces, AND NOT BELONGING TO THOSE ENTITIES SOUGHT whose various colors have faded with time, weathered by the wind's relentlessness. BRUSHED BY TONES DYING WELTERING IN THOUGHT This mask over here wears the paint of a mime; whose frightened hands feel the walls the ceiling and floors, TRAPPED IN MOVEMENT, YES(claustrophobic ) IS THE RIGHT WORD and it seems this tiny room will give me no more— NO MORE THAN FOUR WALLS FAR FROM CONTENT.. More that is less, or a question at best, which is still misguided fantasy NO MORE THAN A GESTURE AND AN ATTEMPT feeling for a corner to place my face. TO BELONG TO AN EXTENT..... Just a Mere Thought... [This message has been edited by mere thought (edited 01-24-2001).] |
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mark woolard Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 143 |
hello again. after reading this again, i must say i really appreciate your interpretation, M.T. "no more than a gesture and an attempt to belong to an extent" that says a lot. opened my eyes to myself. you read very well. |
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mere thought New Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 6 |
I m no poet nor a critic but your piece somehow reminded me of how i feel at times when i am trapped in my room ( not to be taken literally )..and when i was there reading you , i was reading your movement as well, thats why it was easy for me to continue , answer and fill my side watching the parody...that you performed so well... thanks for answering me twice you made my day Mere Thought |
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