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Friend of the Soul
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Friend of the Soul |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Just a name on a page Yet that one word speaks volumes Straight to my heart What fate has conspired to make This bond so strong How can it be so easy, exchanging all these thoughts? There's something so familiar As though it's been this way before. Did I know you in a past, forgotten life And were we dearest friends? How else this easy melding Of mind, of hearts, of thoughts We're friends... such a simple word Yet it seems so crystal clear You've occupied a special place And made it all your own. You've called up a truer me Than what I've usually shown. With you it's always comfortable With you, there is an honesty No reservations, simple trust It really doesn't matter how it came to be The friendship's all that matters You're very special and dear to me A friend of the soul. Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lavenia Crosley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
This is beautiful! Debbie |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
What a beautiful sentiment! I like this one very much. Welcome to the family, please check your email for a special message.  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Welcome to Passions and welcome to CA, peppermint.... Nice work here. regards, sudhir Hey you, out there in the cold, Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me? Hey you, standing in the aisle, With itchy feet and fading smile, can you feel me? Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Hey you, out there on your own, Sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me? Hey you, with your ear against the wall, Waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me? Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone? Open your heart, I'm coming home.... by Roger Waters (Pink Floyd) - The Wall |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Dear peppermint35,welcome to Passions  Ditto the comments of those before me....lovely poem about friendship not too good a poet, i'm afraid but "How can it be so easy, exchanging all these thoughts?" is longer than the rest of the poem and somehow, this bothered me a little when i read through it.... Perhaps breaking this line into two will make this more visually consistent.... Of course, you can ignore me...only you know what's best for your work looking 4ward to reading more  |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
peppermint35-- welcome to passions! this is a nice poem, but i thought you could have brought it to life more by incorporating some imagery. imagery puts the reader's imagination to work, and opens up different ways of expressing the feelings behind your thoughts rather than simply telling the reader things straight out, making the experience of reading the piece richer and more rewarding. is seeing "just a name on a page" like seeing, say, a single leaf floating on sun-silvered water? (and what would THAT bring to mind?) is this "easy melding of mind, of hearts, of thoughts" like slipping into the comfort of your old soft fleece sweatshirt after a hard day at the office? ok, maybe these aren't good examples, but you see what i'm getting at? bringing images to the reader's mind can reinforce, broaden, and deepen your message in the reader's mind, making the piece as a whole more effective.just a suggestion, of course, YOU are the poet! thanks for sharing this with us, i hope to see more of your work out here soon. jenni [This message has been edited by jenni (edited 05-30-2000).] |
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