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Loving and Leaping
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Loving and Leaping |
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writer51 Junior Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 16 |
Old tired eyes, caught out and clearly blinded, Misguided and dumbfounded by loves light. Which burns you to your very core, reminded Perhaps of another lover in the night Lost well before this new found dream was met, Who now stands almost welded to your arms. Perhaps to smother all their past regret, Or warm within their new found lovers charms. Beauty beheld as beauty should be held In blind eyes with fresh faith more blinding still. All rhyme and reason with good senses shelved The moment clasped by each with weakened will. Yet momentary lapses all soon fade Decisions cast found lacking by clear mind. Casting doubts upon each sworn promise made Proves lovers leaps should not be taken blind. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Why is it I feel like I'm the only one here saying anything even semi-critical (I'm starting to get a complex about it). Anyway, I think the poem is too general (lets call it message poetry). Drop the cliche at the end and tell me about a story where this, or something that is connected with this sentiment, happens. More detail. More feeling. Less 'enlightened' truth. Sorry (just my opinion), Brad |
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writer51 Junior Member
since 1999-08-29
Posts 16 |
Brad I’d like to say thank you for giving an opinion in the first place, I was beginning to wonder if anyone would reply at all ! You say that this poem is ‘message poetry’, I agree, the whole idea and reason behind writing this was to get across a message, or to be more specific two messages and to two separate audiences. What you have done is interpreted the first message, which is a third person general warning about the pitfalls of ‘love’ aimed at anyone who cares to read it. The second message is a request to an individual to understand that a new found relationship is best taken slowly, presented, hopefully, in a way that does not alienating the person in question. This message was targeted specifically at one person who would read more meaning into the poem than the casual reader, The ambiguity of the third person in this context was used to avoid the ‘you and me ‘ statements of a more personalised poem. Which if used would have spoilt the general nature of the poem. More detail in the poem would also detract from the general message, more feeling would run the risk of relegating the message from an impartial warning, to an emotional demand. As to ‘enlightened truth ‘, is that not the very essence of a good warning, to be enlightening and true? The cliché at the end is the moral at the end of a tale, the summation of the poem. It could be written in a different form, but two sayings or proverbs ( Love is blind and look before you leap) that seemed to give conflicting advice forced the production of my own semi-proverbial end line. I am pleased that you read the poem and interpreted it in the general sense which was, after all, what I was aiming for. I am at the same time not surprised that you didn’t get the personal message, you are not after all the person that this poem was written for. Thank you for your valued opinion. I will post here again and look forward to you comments. [This message has been edited by writer51 (edited 09-01-99).] |
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