»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
The Kiss
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
The Kiss |
|
|
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
I'm reading this at a Robert Burns birthday dinner tonight. Any Scotsman or Burns lover out there who can save me from some "gawky mistak"? Aboon her mou' my ain wad hover As flitterin moth amang the clover Brushin the chosen blossom over With touch sae light Its kens na if it feels a lover Or fa' of night, Than hafflins tak fu' tentie sips, An' be content with skinklin nips, Or leastways steal sich kennin snips She couldna miss 'em. So I should woo her unskaithed lips Ance could I kiss 'em. An' than, if she might choose hersel To be pressed harder, who can tell But that we weel maun furder mell, An' mak twa ane, But if na mair than ane kiss, well, I'll na complain. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
ted-- aye, laddie, i absolutely love this! very well done! i've always liked robbie burns, and i think you've got the style down perfectly here. this read alot like burns, who so often wrote two versions of a piece, one soft and gentle, the other a raunchy, rollicking farce, lol. but putting aside the imitative style, this is quite a remarkable poem! the only line i couldn't really get was "Than hafflins tak fu' tentie sips", 'hafflins' being the big impediment here for me. but who cares? lol i can feel what you're saying in that line, and the piece as a whole is just beautiful. can i try a translation? Above her mouth my own would hover As flittering moth among the clover Brushing the chosen blossom over With touch so light It knows not if it feels a lover Or fall of night. Then hafflins tak fu' tentie sips [ LOL... help me, here, ted ] And be content with skinklin nips [ there is NO other word here than 'skinklin', LOL ] Or leastways steal such knowing snips She could not miss 'em. So I should woo her unscathed lips Once I could kiss 'em. And that, if she might choose herself To be pressed harder, who can tell But that we well might further go, And make two one, But if no more than one kiss, well, I'll not complain. it loses ALOT in the translation, lol, but, mmmm, what a beautiful poem, especially the first stanza. *sigh* ha! mel gibson, eat your heart out, lol. weel done, braw lad, weel done for a' that. jenni p.s.: aren't you a few weeks late, though? i thought burns suppers were on his birthday, jan.25? anyway, have a great time tonight! be bold, and have a big helping of the "great chieftan o' the Pudding race," lol, and let us know how your poem fares. [This message has been edited by jenni (edited 02-13-2000).] |
||
|
Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hey Ted, I've never read any of Burn's work though I have a feeling now that I would like his poetry....I'll add that to the overflooded amount of things I should read before I die  As far as saving you from a "gawky mistak", don't think I can. If there is something wrong with this then I can't find it, have to say I love every line...even though I'm having trouble with the same lines as Jenni...."Than hafflins tak fu' tentie sips, An' be content with skinklin nips,", I still thought it was such a magnificant poem. I'm gonna take a whack at the donkey now with my interpretation of those two lines, "Then happily take such tiny sips and be content with skinning nips"....well that's the way I interpretted it. Anyways, I loved this poem though I wonder if I love it because it is truly a flawless masterpiece or just an excellent poem in a form that is new to me....frankly, I don't care which it is cause it just made me feel great! Thanks for the excellent read, take care, Trevor [This message has been edited by Trevor (edited 02-13-2000).] |
||
|
Craig Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 444 |
I was up around the birthplace of Burns last year, this might help in your translation jenni. hafflins - nearly, half or partly tak - to take fu - full tentie - heedful or cautious skinklin - small portion ( from skinflint I think ) < !signature--> Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool: But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet. [This message has been edited by Craig (edited 02-13-2000).] |
||
|
Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Thank you all, I did feel almost like I was "channelling" for Robbie on this one. Between you all, you figured it out, congrats. I can only add that "kennin" means "no more than can just be perceived" (isn't that a neat word?) and even more wonderful for my intentions, "mell" means to meddle, to mix, AND to be intimate! So there! (Try it out, lovers.) [This message has been edited by Ted Reynolds (edited 02-16-2000).] |
||
|
carolyn smale Junior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 20australia |
I lived 8 years in a place with a statue of robbie burns on the main street. The student discount bottle store also went by the name "the robbie burns", usually shortened to "the robbie". Needless to say I enjoyed this a lot, recollections of evenings as a student. These memories surfaced, as i read, along with a slight feeling of nausea. Alcohol, haggis and robbie burns are a frightening combination. thanks for the trip! carolyn. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
