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Open Poetry #48
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Old Poetry
| Open Poetry #48 |
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Old Poetry |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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Old Poetry The words help me remember What my mind tries to forget. I know I shouldn't go back there, It just hasn't stopped me yet. The pain helps me to keep it real, Cause it's either that, or nothing; For there's nothing left at all I feel That would amount to something Worth noting, worth even a glance, As I face each day a dead man's clone. For life's not about second chance, But about carrying on, alone! Where decadence decays morals, Then kicks you to its living end... The entirety of your laurels, A pat on the back from a fake friend. You question why you wake at all, In the face of yet another day. Just another brick placed in your wall, As you turn your back and walk away From all the hands reaching to you, You simply act like you don't notice. For expectation is their due, And in your heart of hearts you know this. It's too damned easy to give up, Than admit you might suffer a need, Or that you can't possibly live up To the prospect you have earned this deed. And so you crawl back to your hole, Search for a time meaning was found, In forgotten words that only extol Silence you can't wrap your arms around. Michael Anderson Death's but a path that must be trod, |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I suppose you knew who your fake friends were,Michael. We all have then, although I have culled my friends down to a very tiny few, I doubt any of my fake friends survived. I think you are right in your daily admonishments and the scouring of your back with word-whips until it bleeds. For, if you were to try again with another woman, another relationship I have a strong feeling you would make her life a living hell because she could never live up to the woman from the past, and I am sure she had her good points. But you would immediately, I fear, begin to notice real, or imaginary faults from another woman, using the one true love as a yardstick. So, carry on, my friend, (sic). ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Well, been there, done that - cried in my grits, moped the earth dry, extinguished the sun with my black self-pity, and a couple life-times ago learned something . . . if one can't like one's self, one can never emerge from the cave in which one has trapped one's self. And that has nothing to do with the "life" one has lived, only with the life one lives today, because only you can keep you in the cave. Enjoyed your write, as usual, my friend. j. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
It would be easy to come up with a lot of advice but this hits too close to home for that because aren't we all unable to take our own advice. We all carry on alone whether or not we're surrounded by friends be they fake or not. I sometimes read my old poetry as well and perhaps sadly see the person I now now longer am. I sometimes laugh out loud as well - like how could I and why did I feel like that. Well, I know the "why" but how could I when surely I should have known better. I've also "gone deep" sometimes but now I'm trying very hard to skim the surface of life. Guess what? Neither approach works so what now? Just laugh at it all I suppose. |
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Lady Goodman Member
since 2012-10-04
Posts 193 |
"I know I shouldn't go back there, It just hasn't stopped me yet. The pain helps me to keep it real, Cause it's either that, or nothing;" nodding, here, Mike, I can relate.  |
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
sigh...hear you loud and clear |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
JP, you hit the nail on the head with your assessment here. Even if I didn’t compare the new with the old, I had enough problems in the “feeling” department with every prior relationship to think myself better off alone, or more honestly that anyone would be better off without me.  So far as the “fake friend” statement, I’ve washed my hands of them as well, though I’ve probably not been fair to all who’ve tried reaching out to me. I view myself as such an enigma, I don’t think many people out there could ever truly understand me… and sadly enough, trying to explain it I find just plain exasperating. I do so appreciate your honest feelings about my poetry, and especially the fact you don’t try to change me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Jwesley, Well, I kinda know I keep myself in the cave. Problem is, I like it here. I do let myself out every now and again, but smiling and the need to write poetry rarely have went hand-in-hand with me. Appreciate your comment, and your concern even so. Honeybunch, your comment “I've also ‘gone deep’ sometimes but now I'm trying very hard to skim the surface of life.” Is very much where I am at I think. Sucks that you say it doesn’t work. I really thought I was on to something. In all seriousness though, it certainly sounds like if anyone could relate to me you could… Sadly, that isn’t really a good thing, though, and I’ve no advice to hand back you way either. :/ Laughing beats crying anyday of the week though. Hey Karen, good to see you here again. I don’t always get to reply but I do read everything you post. Don’t drop off the face of the earth again anytime soon. I’ve missed ya! Luminosity, Old poetry isn’t a bad thing, problem for me is it tends to reopen wounds I thought were completely healed, and/or make me remember bad things I had all but flushed out of memory. All in all though, our old poetry is very much a part of us, and should be explored every now and again. Michael |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I don't think I have any fake friends. Why would I? They'd get nothing from it. I don't have many friends at all, actually, and I appreciate the ones who don't try to understand me. I don't understand me, why should anyone else? I like several of the phrases in this one, and found it moved smoothly. I especially like "I know I shouldn't go back there, It just hasn't stopped me yet." Don't we all have one of those? I can see the emotion plainly, and it made me think. That's always good. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I like this poem. It touched me - maybe we all have those times in our lives where we just want to burrow in and ignore the "chatter". I also like how you structure your poems. They flow really well when I read them. So, you see, I have to read them twice. Once to go with that flow and once to follow the thoughts. It's good to read your poetry, Michael. Alison |
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Amberzlynnc Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229New Jersey |
"For life's not about a second chance, but carrying on, alone!" This line made me stop and think.. How true this statement is! A second chance with someone is sometimes a great thing, but moving on alone can sometimes be greater.. More doors will open when your past isn't holding them shut. :-) -Amber |
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