»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #46
»
Driftwood II
| Open Poetry #46 |
|
Driftwood II |
|
|
Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Driftwood’s twisted knots on display Saltwater splashed lashes Rolling down cheeks Her tide ebbing hopeless and gray She slips to the beach for protection Hating her wood Adrift and long lost its luster She tries hiding from her own rejection Windswept ravaged caught his attention The beachcomber attracted To her sensuous grain Added her to his collection Driftwood’s hollow heart drawn Let herself be taken But only so far As four roses on the front lawn |
||
| © Copyright 2010 Eusta B. Mae - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nice Ms Mae... I like the imagery you use here as well as the way you tell how she got to the roses.. The metaphor carries well in this piece. I'm enjoying the series |
||
|
Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Thanks for the eyes and comentary Mr. Hair. I appreciate your support. This is my first series and I have no idea where she is going...(smiling) Eusta |
||
|
easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Yes, an interesting series indeed... The "four roses" is an exquisite prompt of a visual image. I wonder if Driftwood has suffered (or enjoyed) a spray can clear shellacking, being now an outdoor(?), domesticated objet d'art? Also, the beachcomber must have seen something in her that she for whatever reasons could not, at the time. |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I've written a number of series...and to be honest, I often did not know where they were going either. if this is your first, then I'd simply say, let it take you where it wills... |
||
|
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
enjoying your morning wood ms..kewl series |
||
|
Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Well done, Eusta, perfect conintuity. enjoyed much! ~Sunkissed. |
||
|
Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
easy1-Taking a "shellacking" is a strong possability with Driftwood. ____________________________________________ Cpat Hair- yes, a little ray of Sunshine directed me to Iambe... ____________________________________________ D-Kewel! Enjoying your eyes here. ____________________________________________ Sunkissed-Whew! thanks for the feed back on the continuity...I wasn't so sure...Bless your heart and many thanks! |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
 |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Iambe... ( chuckling) That woman will haunt me here for as long as that ray of sunshine is around I think... she's still an easy write for me if I let her get started in my head... that's why they came up with Crazy Smooth... so I could drink enough that I didn't have to write her.. lol |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Oh, I had left this out, but it fits perfectly I see. Driftwood holds treasures unknown. Love, Margherita |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"The beachcomber attracted To her sensuous grain Added her to his collection" yes, this is beautiful I do love a series and the four roses on the front lawn but I feel she will go further... |
||
|
Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Others have commented upon the rich metaphorical language throughout the piece. I would agree but I also must say that I find the poem rather sad as the beachcomber was merely adding `her` to his `collection`. Cleverly written. |
||
|
JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Your expert infusion of words is pleasing to the eye. As I read this poem I thought about how you could have come up with this idea, but nevertheless it is engrossing. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
