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Open Poetry #46
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Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610


0 posted 2010-08-28 05:13 PM



I cried out for rescue
as you lay claimed by
what consistently eludes me

Anguish hides beneath
your carelessly tossed arm
pretending there is strength
and conviction with each
exhalation of breath

Prayers ascend through
this forest of tangled
thought and falling rain

if only you would lay me
down to sleep!

Too soon tomorrow comes
like a premature birth
and with it, memories
you'll never have...

repeat


~Sunkissed

© Copyright 2010 R. T. M. - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2010-08-28 06:17 PM


I actually got a lump in my throat. An exceptionally moving write!


EA

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
2 posted 2010-08-29 03:19 AM


This is fabulous! I am amazed there aren`t more comments here... I love it... the whole thing  
.
~Amaryllis

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2010-08-29 05:47 AM


quote:
Prayers ascend through
this forest of tangled
thought and falling rain



This is very captivating and moving. Beautifully written.

Love,
Margherita

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
4 posted 2010-08-29 09:16 AM


Premies can have a temper, but it can be controlled sufficiently with gracious effort, and even harnessed for useful strength.

There is a lot of "useful strength" in your writing here. I second the stanza selected above.

Novus_Os
Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 115
West Coast, USA
5 posted 2010-08-29 09:27 AM


Outstanding really. It is moving as stated, but also very well "put together". Hard to describe

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2010-08-29 10:31 AM


layers I think in this..though the central theme is there..one can take it as one wants, and ponder the depths as they go

well done ma'am..


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2010-08-29 04:29 PM


claimed by the highway..by freedom...and they say sleep is for the dead..

interesting write here...can feel your seams in it

[This message has been edited by Dark Stranger (08-30-2010 12:20 PM).]

Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

8 posted 2010-08-29 09:48 PM


EA, thank you so much for the sentiments and the kind words.

Amaryllis,I'm glad that you enjoyed the read! Your comments are always appreciated!

Margherita,You are far too kind, thank you!

Easy1, I like the way you think. Always a pleasure to read your comments.

Novus_Os,thank you for taking the time to read and ponder!

Captain,I always look forward to your comments,thank you.

DS,thanks for your thoughts and your compliments!


~Sunkissed

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