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Open Poetry #46

one more hour

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2010-07-12 11:30 PM

Her dress was a bit torn on the side,
A bit friendly on this eve of being together
On this eve of watching the sun lye in bed
Until the rose garden waited for another storm

On the way to the fiery night of the shadowy coffin,
we watched as the children gathered in the streets
gathered for our soft hands to touch theirs
and we walked for ages.

We were like the sand of our own truth
Without an object in sight
We walked breathlessly towards
A long stray road

On the heels of something greater,
Where I could see their small hands
Become longer and wider

I could see the legend of my heart
Onto her slightly torn dress
Slightly white chest
With a sigh and long sleep goodbye
I could see the rose garden
Beyond the children of this warm night

Red shirts were cast,
Pink blouses were drawn
Tonight, I sleep next to her,
Until the wake of tomorrowÕs dawn.

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

1 posted 2010-07-15 04:09 PM

First off, "the sand of our own truth" is an excellent turn of phrase.

This is a complex write, and I can read it as a tryst, or as a walk among reeds and woods back of the beach "alone", beyond the merriment as it were. Very interesting.

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

2 posted 2010-07-15 05:01 PM

uh...
wow

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "WHAT A RIDE

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

3 posted 2010-07-16 10:14 AM

Appreciate the comments...take care

Tomer

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2010-07-16 08:09 PM

"I could see the legend of my heart
Onto her slightly torn dress"

especially love that line

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

5 posted 2010-07-21 09:22 AM

Thanks, Naked. Happy you enjoyed.

Tomer

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