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Open Poetry #46
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Toast
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Toast |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria 
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Toast Little Jimmy’s parents are trying to train him To go and urinate in their new toilet bowl But his willy is so tiny he’s unable to grasp it And piddles all over with no sense of control. Although the little chap is only four years old Mum thinks could there be something amiss with his spine He is unable to steer the stream into the bowl And the toilet & floor are all covered in urine. She takes him along to the Doc’ for a check After examination by the Doc’ an old theory is born He said I know this sounds like an old woman’s tale But give him two pieces of toast for breakfast each morn. It will probably take a few weeks for it to grow But I’m sure you will be very pleased with the result If it hasn’t grown at least two inches by then Come back and see me and again we’ll consult. Next morning for breakfast the toast is served up And ten pieces are put out on the plate Mum watches as Jimmy tucks into the first piece Then he pauses for a moment this observation to state. ‘Mum, I’m only supposed to eat two pieces’ he said ‘And you have put ten pieces there on the plate’ ‘That’s all right dear, eat up your two pieces of toast It’s for your dad that I have made the other eight.’ |
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| © Copyright 2010 Lindsay P Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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easy1 Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209Southeastern USA |
Bawdy and raised a smile. Still smiling, in fact. |
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Lamar Cole Member
since 2009-05-01
Posts 274 |
Very hilarious. This one will have me grinning for days. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
I've heard women say Balladeer has never had a piece of toast, (which explains why he's never had a piece of anything else). Lindsay, your punchlines are great. Very well done |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lindsay, Just goes to prove that hope spring eternal in the human breast. Bobby |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Thanks Lindsay, urinal projections are a disaster that men could resolve by sitting...I understood that after devastating a fitted carpet in a bathroom while renting an apartment and had to pay 300 bucks to replace it all...However I adored your brilliant poem.... have a nice day yann |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
You make me laugh after a day of work. Thank you. |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
No wonder I never felt a need eat bread :P Toe uses the same technique when he needs to, pinch a loaf... splash! oh that was just wrong... Lindsay now I know why your last name initial is, P  |
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Kethry D Member
since 2010-04-12
Posts 64Australia |
I love it when a joke morphs into a poem. you have done very well with this translation. A poet must leave traces of his passing not proof. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
A great big thank you to all you kind folks who have made comment God bless and take care. Lindsay |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
*giggles* *and giggles some more* this is fantastic and surely something every woman with a man in her life can relate to well! I guess I'm lucky that way though...married a toast eater! LOL |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Dear Dixie, I'm so happy for you in having married a toast eater, you are lucky fo sure, thanks fo making comment. Vandana thank you to, and although you are a poet of few words they are appreciated just the same. Lindsay |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Oh dear, Lindsay. How can I eat toast again and not think of your poem? I always know to read you when I need a laugh. Thank you.Helen |
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Eldest Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177Alabama |
You really had me going until the punchline. I'll have to share this with friends who will appreciate it. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
LOLOL... This is hilarious, my friend... and so very well done!!! Now I know why the bread shelves at my grocery store are empty so often! LOL |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
To Helen, well at least you will have something to remember me by. thanks Eldest, thanks for popping in and I'll only be too happy for you to pass it on Ruth my dear you'll just have to make sure that you get down to that bread shop early. James my friend, thank you too, your comment Is always appreciated |
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