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Open Poetry #46
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Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now

0 posted 2010-06-01 02:23 AM



You
twine through my dreams
in supple, silent sway,
armaments concealed
in velvet dun,
with your topaz eye
kohl-rimmed
and hungry.
.
.
.


Where do you lie
all burning day,
while we in our
significance
pretend?
You`re never far
from my ancient brain-
my deepest, prey-small mind;
I hear your scream,
repeated on dark, wrinkled hills
tonight.
.
.
.


You
smoulder in the coals
of consciousness,
ashen-bisque and strong,
slim, relentless.
Neighbors speak of sightings
in hushed tones,
(shh, the children hear)
over coffee,
safe in their walls,
their kitchens,
puny dens-
so even in your absence
you are here,
always here,
Puma Concolor,  Carnivora.
.
.
.


Tonight I must go out
for groceries-
(scan my world for pug-marks
in the loam!)
Worried over
fluid confidence,
switching through the firs
and whitetail threads,
I`ve never felt so small
and tender. Please,
nightmare weaver,
hunt far away,
oh miles away
tonight.



[This message has been edited by Amaryllis (06-01-2010 12:17 PM).]

© Copyright 2010 Amaryllis - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2010-06-01 04:18 AM


There is such suspense in your poem, that I felt the fear cribbling in my back! Such fascinating creatures and yet able to scare us to death.

Exceptional write.

Love,
Margherita

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
2 posted 2010-06-01 05:02 AM


Thank you, dear Margherita..
I wanted to mention that truly I do feel sorry for these magnificent, misplaced felines.. there have been increased sightings in urban areas since the encroachment of building on their habitat. Yet the base fear that it strikes in man (and woman! )       fascinates me, and I found it an interesting topic for a poem. Glad you enjoyed it!       

[This message has been edited by Amaryllis (06-01-2010 09:22 AM).]

threadbear
Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817
Indy
3 posted 2010-06-01 07:42 AM


What's truly amazing is that no city person would ever know what you are writing about, although some of them are hunted by MEN in Pumas.  
The flavour to this poem was perfect.
Jeff

Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
4 posted 2010-06-01 08:59 AM


You have such a talent to set the scene, the mood and like Marg said, the suspense.
Great work.

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

5 posted 2010-06-01 09:05 AM



Amaryllis, you are so amazing. This was exceptional. With each write I read from you, I know I am in the presence of a truly gifted writer.

What a wonderful storyteller.
Richard xx


Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
6 posted 2010-06-01 12:07 PM


Jeff- thank you for reviewing this, yes it was all I could do to write this poem and NOT use the word `cougar`, since it has such new, urban connotations! Haha  Alas, so does the word `Puma`, I find..! Heh         
.
ChalmetteGuy- thank you also for reading my poem, and so glad the tone I intended does come across!  =)
.
Richy- Oh my, I am humbled by your kind words; don`t we all feel we are always struggling, improving in our art! Thank you very much, I must say I am becoming enamored with this site; it is so gratifying to be amongst others who love words as much as I.           

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
7 posted 2010-06-01 03:41 PM


be safe and keep your pets inside
Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

8 posted 2010-06-01 06:01 PM



Yes Amaryllis, I’m never satisfied with what I write. Just like all my poems, I know that I will look back on the ones that I am posting right now, and just cringe, thinking oh my god, I actually wrote that dribble lol. What can we do? Yes, words are pretty special aren’t they? They are the leaves from our tree that make the ground light up, with the color and vibrancy of our seasons, only to be blown away soon thereafter by some kind of wind of conclusion. And yet, these leaves are just the shells of our spirit, as the meanings behind them are what really matter, matter which melds back into the earth of our beginning to start with someone else again anew.

You are in good company here dear friend. This place is addictive.

For those, addicted to life.

Richard xx

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2010-06-01 06:13 PM


Please,
nightmare weaver,
hunt far away,
oh miles away
tonight.

Now THAT really struck me...a perfect ending with regards to pumas and many other things in life. Beautiful writing...

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403
Virginia
10 posted 2010-06-01 06:27 PM


::smiles::    It has often been said that this creature is an emissary.  I think it takes someone who is also not of "this" world, but only a messenger, to speak of this creature in the way that you do.     I enjoyed this greatly.    Thank you for the gift.
Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
11 posted 2010-06-01 07:39 PM


Richard~ even your reply posts are poetry!  
Yes, I too have been a bit addicted to PIP.. but it`s a good thing..  poetry, instead of chocolate, I say~!  
.
Balladeer~!  I must admit how pleased I am that you stopped by & liked my little poem; I so admire your talent and knowlege.  Thank you for reading!  
.
Uriah, thank you also for your kind words~! (But I feel oh-so compelled to start singing `I`m no angel..`)  heehee!  

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
12 posted 2010-06-01 08:14 PM


Thanks, 1slick_lady.. we are doing all we can!  
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
13 posted 2010-06-02 05:18 AM


Nicely comosed. You do have a way with words, including hyphenated description inventions.

My feeling for the subject matter is somewhere between William Blake and the Penn State team mascot, for around here it's bobcats chasing poor little kitty up across the roof.

ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

14 posted 2010-06-02 01:44 PM


Poor puma's I hope they build a habitat for them. As well hope you and your pet be safe from the nightwatcher/hunter. The poem did stun me with fear and passion for this fine creature. I truly enjoyed this.

<

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
15 posted 2010-06-02 02:40 PM


Easy1~ thanks for your review & kind words.. yes, you caught my nod to Blake`s `Tyger`.. tried to be subtle, borrowing only a word or two (ie: `eye`, `burning`, etc).. and speaking `to` the cat itself.. respectfully; awe-struck.  Guess i could have mentioned WSU `cougs`! haha
.

Ken~ thanks for saying the poem scared you! It was supposed to.. (heck, it even scared me, writing it) lol  =P

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
16 posted 2010-06-03 10:59 AM


Damn girl! This was an incredible write. I could almost feel the breath of the hunter. You are very talented.

(btw, you wondered what a "Toerag" is?..it's one of these:


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
17 posted 2010-06-03 02:30 PM


think I bought her drinks last night...but she left with the college boy..(kewl stuff ms)
viking_metal
Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.
18 posted 2010-06-03 04:18 PM


This is wonderful.


Really good. Truly.


Your style is... I don't know jack about poetry, really. I just know this is good. Your word choice is flawless and the way you structured the whole shebang is smooth and great. The story was good.

Yeah. That.

Fall in love early, fall in love often.

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
19 posted 2010-06-04 12:52 PM


Toerag~ oh, now I get it! It`s a piggie in a blanket?! (or not)      
Thanks, too,  for your kind words about the poem    
.
Dk.Stranger~ watch out for those cougars!         lol
Thanks for your review!
.
Viking~ aw thanks so much, that`s just so nice tohear; usually I look at my poems too closely & revise the life outta `em.. so thanks again for the review!    
.
Best to all~ Amaryllis (by mornin`..)  heh =P


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
20 posted 2010-06-04 06:38 AM


Your thoughts were so intense~~ one could feel the anticipation.

M

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
21 posted 2010-06-04 07:05 PM


Amaryllis...I'm impressed with the capture of this creature and the feelings brought forth with your haunting imagery.    
LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
22 posted 2010-06-04 10:17 PM




I`ve never felt so small
and tender. Please,
nightmare weaver,
hunt far away,
oh miles away
tonight

Armaryllis, I'd be looking over my shoulder

when you go shopping tonight just in case that puma is extra hungry. great post.

Lindsay


Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
23 posted 2010-06-04 10:28 PM


Thanks very much, Nakdthoughts, Martie, and LindsayP.. I truly appreciate your words & your kindness  
~Amaryllis


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
24 posted 2010-06-05 03:39 AM


Fine writing indeed, Amaryllis. Even here in So. Calif. we are surrounded by wildlife. It is not unusual at all for bears to take a dip in someone's pool or a little soak in the hot tub.
                                Ida

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