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Open Poetry #46
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2010-04-13 10:45 AM


.


This of course
Is the one place
In town no one comes to

Not willingly at least
There is a silence
Not to be found much less
Searched for given a choice
Of other things to do

You move as if lost
In the wrong neighborhood
And whatever effort is made
To make the best of it
Never escapes the element
Of charade

Still let us walk
Without false sentiment
Under the somber trees
Yet take note that despite it all
The sky can be blue
With white clouds slowly
Drifting above the scene

That for all that is gone
And never expected
To return again

Some old birds
Will still choose to sing


.

© Copyright 2010 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
1 posted 2010-04-13 11:53 AM


Nicely done!  I could feel the tension in the air and the unsureness of being there.  The Wordsworth-style ending was perfect.
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

2 posted 2010-04-13 09:13 PM


...yes, the ending is where this one was...there will always be some old birds
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2010-04-14 11:52 AM


Love the ending too, John (as an old bird)
                                    Ida

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
4 posted 2010-04-18 02:16 PM


I must concur that the ending is indeed particularly fine!:

"Still let us walk
  Without false sentiment
  Under the somber trees
  Yet take note that despite it all
  The sky can be blue
  With white clouds slowly
  Drifting above the scene

  That for all that is gone
  And never expected
  To return again

  Some old birds
  Will still choose to sing"

applause for this 'penning' !

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
5 posted 2010-04-18 06:24 PM


There is much to like and respect in this piece. I bow to you and yours.

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

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