There's Evil in the Forest Dark

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JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

0 posted 2011-02-02 08:39 PM

I dedicate this poem to my friend, Ellen Hass. Thank you Ellen for sending me your very own copy of the book, "The Taking," by Dean Knootz, which made this poem possible.

The rain comes down, it will not stop,
Been raining for days drop, drop, drop.
Some say we should build an ark,
There's evil in the forest dark.

The air is different, it smells wrong,
We do not feel like we belong.
Been this way for days; some remark,
There's evil in the forest dark.

The rain stopped, what will take its place,
I grab my chest, say the Lord's Grace.
In the distance I hear dogs bark,
There's evil in the forest dark.

A fog so dense you cannot see,
I want to run, I want to flee.
But where? Listen, I hear them. Hark!
There's evil in the forest dark.

Where are the children, where indeed,
They must be saved, we all agreed.
I'd strike a match, but it has no spark,
There's evil in the forest dark.

The townsfolk have gathered around,
We are together, we are bound.
We'll make our stand herein this park,
There's evil in the forest dark.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2011-02-03 10:11 AM

good morning Jerry. You have tapped a universal fear here. You got my boogie man going. Good disturbing write.
Lori

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

2 posted 2011-02-03 10:16 AM

Sorry about that, Lori, just having a little fun, a la Stephen King style, but without the gore, just the anticipation of it. Thank you for being here.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2011-02-03 11:37 AM

I loved this. The evil didn't feel like a bad evil - just an exciting one, and a little bit scary, like in a children's story. It makes me want to explore the forest to find out what the evil is.

Owl

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

4 posted 2011-02-03 12:44 PM

I hear you, Owl. There is evil and then there is kind of faux evil. The repetition of the line, there's evil in the forest dark tends to promote a kind of nursery rhyme aura about it. Thank you for stopping by m blue room.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

5 posted 2011-02-03 08:41 PM

WOW, JerryPat...this gave me goose bumps when i read it...the repetition works really well where you have used it....wonderful poetry, my friend

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

6 posted 2011-02-03 08:45 PM

Hi Faith. So glad that you liked my "evil" story tonight. I enjoyed Koontz's book and the poem just popped into my mind. Thanks again.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

The_Doctors_Angel_32
Member

since 2011-01-14

Posts 337
Florida, USA

7 posted 2011-02-03 08:48 PM

Dude, now I don't want to go into a dark forrest anymore. I love me an awesome dark read!

When the family is together, the soul is at peace - Russian Proverb

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

8 posted 2011-02-03 08:54 PM

It is good to see you here, The_Doctors_Angel_32, and thank you for you reading and commenting on my "evil" poem.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

9 posted 2011-02-03 09:16 PM

I love the flow of this and the short, shallow breathing it inspires...excellent writing

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

10 posted 2011-02-03 09:36 PM

Appreciate the fact that short breathing is the order of the day. Thanks for the compliment.

~ What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? / Anyone Can Roast Beef. ~

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

11 posted 2011-02-04 11:11 PM

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