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Open Poetry #47
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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2012-01-09 09:34 PM


there are eyes that saw him, high
drunk on life and wailing like a rock star.
eyes that he could see, and made the ocean in him
rejoice; one fell crashing at a time.
but who knew there would be such sorrow
when his voice ran dry and cold as January
a flower petal plucked;
gently, cruelly from the stem
in want for the love of another.

there is a prison in him, an Alcatraz
and he no longer clangs his tin cup across the bars;
it is nothing but white noise
outside the cold, frost-bitten window.
such an aching sorrow; even still, there is
a pulse, a tapping on the tympanic,
a pulling in the sounds
of waves upon the island; ticklish things...
and sometimes he raises a hand to the sound
sometimes it breaks through the cacophony
inside

somewhere, there is dawn and light
cresting over the threshold
and a shadow of motes
in languid, lazy descent.
a circle of something, there
in the carpet
a memory buried in the pile.
who knew there would be such sorrow,
in a mortgaged heart
a thousand miles from nowhere

i would give him every little hope,
inside a heart-shaped box.
the sound of his grandfather
the pssst-scree of a school bus coming home
the taste of a kiwi, on the best day
the wind, passing through a keyhole

he is more than a prisoner with soft hands,
with a warm, rough voice;
more than a fixer of meals
more than a star-gazer

he is loved

© Copyright 2012 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2012-01-09 09:52 PM


I just wrote a poem this afternoon called, "Love Is . . ." and it isn't anything like what is normally written about love. Love is responsible for more murders, suicides, depressive, vegetative states, and other maladies than almost anything else. Now after saying that I find myself in love. At this late date in my years. Who'd a thunk it? Love is . . . One thing it is persistent.

This was a well-written poem and tragic all the way through.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2012-01-10 06:29 AM


Ms Nicole, enjoyed the layers of glancing here..kewl stuff
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
3 posted 2012-01-10 06:32 AM


/grinning... Love is messy.  Yes.  That and it can take so many forms, also (familial, friendship)  In all regards though, it is definitely persistent, as you say.

I'm happy you've found love Jerry, that's the smile I needed.  And thank you for the read and the understanding.

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
4 posted 2012-01-10 06:35 AM


D - it's somethin', I reckon.     Thanks for the peek
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2012-01-10 08:05 AM


but who knew there would be such sorrow
when his voice ran dry and cold as January
a flower petal plucked;
gently, cruelly from the stem
in want for the love of another.


What a profoundly captivating and poetically masterful description of what goes on in a sensitive heart sometimes!

Great poem with psychological depth.

Saw the b/w and mute movie "The Artist" yesterday and was moved deeply by its content. Your words above reminded me of the drama that artist went through ...

Margherita

bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

6 posted 2012-01-10 10:03 AM


quote:
there is a prison in him, an Alcatraz
and he no longer clangs his tin cup across the bars;
it is nothing but white noise



fantastic metaphor here...I think...I know him.

Great poem!

             

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
7 posted 2012-01-10 10:23 AM


Margherita, That is so amazing that you saw that particular film in this; it is that feeling I was trying to convey.  Thank you for such a thoughtful reply.  

Belle, You do indeed  

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2012-01-10 03:17 PM


“there is a prison in him, an Alcatraz
and he no longer clangs his tin cup across the bars;
it is nothing but white noise
outside the cold, frost-bitten window.
such an aching sorrow; even still, there is
a pulse, a tapping on the tympanic,
a pulling in the sounds
of waves upon the island; ticklish things...
and sometimes he raises a hand to the sound
sometimes it breaks through the cacophony
inside”


“he is loved”

“i would give him every little hope,
inside a heart-shaped box.
the sound of his grandfather
the pssst-scree of a school bus coming home
the taste of a kiwi, on the best day
the wind, passing through a keyhole”


This living conflict has a satisfying twist with your last line.
A conclusion unspecified by the body of the story but hinted at,
throughout.  Happily unhappy being imprisoned by
circumstances beyond control yet living through the resistance.
Yep, I live somewhere out in left field …
I really enjoying reading your poetry –
Makes my thoughts get a little flighty,
But I do enjoy...



JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982
Canada
9 posted 2012-01-10 11:51 PM


..bravo..!
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
10 posted 2012-01-11 04:27 PM


quote:
and he no longer clangs his tin cup across the bars;
it is nothing but white noise
outside the cold, frost-bitten window.


I can relate to that only too well.

The truest of all loves is that which knows it will never be rewarded, or maybe even recognized.  I can only say I understand this on the level that that is the kind of love I have for my mother.  This poems reaches deep and wrenches the heart on many levels.  Never give up hope... the white noise doesn't have to be all engulfing.

Michael

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2012-01-16 12:30 PM


but who knew there would be such sorrow
when his voice ran dry and cold as January

There are prisons inside of all of us... some so dark even we can't hear the clang of our own cup hitting the bars. The key is in that last line... to be loved, to be accepted, to have someone keep shining a light steadily into the corners even when their fingers are blistered from melting wax. This is a wonderful write!!

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