»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #47
»
It's December, Why Is It Raining?
| Open Poetry #47 |
|
It's December, Why Is It Raining? |
|
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
 (picture by aelthwyn@ deviantart Lugubrious evening clouds Floating- Tar and cotton... tears drip Touching down on pebble and asphalt- Shingles collecting, aluminum channeled; Gathered in volume... the solid liquid Flows in stoneless streams that Fill to half-- December Gutters. Like separate fluids do when joined They rivulet- (when their not froze) And act like lemmings off to work- That ply a suicidal journey on To mass Oblivion And by appointment meet With all their scattered others Drowning and absorbed In some far off distant sea. Winter spate sings odes to my dejection, Makes no sense in schemes that rule the seasons. The ground needs wear a gown of white This time of year, And not a wet by rain-soaked dress. My mind can't see the reasons why, The change in what's expected- Can-not cipher cryptic sent, so Natures choice remains obscured, To me who lacks the arcane key, * note I am not sure that the second stanza should be in this poem? It seems like an overstatement of the first..But I had fun with it, so I left it in...what do you think? |
||
| © Copyright 2011 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
It's your poem, Ice, and besides I like it there. It may accentuate the first, but you did it in a transitory fashion. I hear you on the rain/snow question. We have hard winters where the snow is unbelievable severe, and then every so often it seems almiost like springtime in December. I guess it's just Mother Nature's idea of making adjustments. Enjoyed the poem. ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: I agree! But then Mother Nature reigns and the changes are obvious and men have their part of guilt. Recently there has been the World Climate Change Conference in Durban and the emergency has been discussed. See here : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/climatechange/8916405/Durban-Climate-Change-Conference-2011-latest.html I long for true winters too and your poem is very beautifully written, dear Ford. Margherita  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Why does it rain in December? Personally, my friend, I can think of several reasons, but to give just one not akin to those, I'll just say this...right now I'm thankful for any type of moisture... meanwhile, He's hearing a lot of prayers right now for a particular someone that no one here might know, but if you're inclined, that you have my thanks for a return of health...  Your poetry is always appreciated and treasured. |
||
|
JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Wow. Such depth in this write. The graphic is great too. The second stanza, to me fits well. It adds to the state of thoughts while pondering the natural all around. Much enjoyed! JL Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ford, I had to come back because anyone who uses phrases such as quote: is truly an artist in his own write. It is not every poet who can use the L word so well.  |
||
|
EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
December wears the rain beautifully in your poem of wonder. |
||
|
OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Ford, I think you could write an exquisite poem that would captivate all who read it, about a piece of paper dropping on the floor - or the sound of a garbage-bin lid closing - or the tonal sound of a click as somebody dials a single number on a mobile phone - or anything at all, for that matter. I know when I see that there is an "ice-poem" that I am in for a rich brocade of perfect art, so forgive me if I am selfishly delighted that you had rain instead of snow at the time you wrote this. In mitigation, I hope you since have had, and still have, your snow, in the most appropriate abundance. I am also very glad that you left the second stanza in - yes, you "rambled further into the first stanza with the second one", but superbly so. I love rambling and when rambling is done with such art as yours, it is a delicious luxury - I, personally, love rambling, my own and that of others - it is one of my favourite pastimes and I find that the rushed world of today frowns on it, and is so much the poorer for it. I read your poem several times over, seeing, hearing, smelling the rain, and enjoying its ambience. Whilst I concede that you were angry with the rain, don't try to argue that you didn't see its beauty, because your poem is the proof that you did - it was its timing that you were angry about, not its beauty - but then that is the beauty of beauty - it often comes when we were expecting/wanting/needing (to do) something else, and sometimes, we need to pause and enjoy it - as you did with the rain, though you may not have realised that you did! (For example, though it is Saturday morning, and I haven't yet started my day, I should be doing chores and working on something that will bring me an income! I should not be reading and replying to poets, lol! However, I am doing the "pause and enjoy it/stop and smell the roses/rain" thing instead, and all the better for it.) The spell-binding photo you chose of aelthwyn@devianart is exquisite and is the perfect complement (AND compliment) to your beautiful poem. Owl |
||
|
The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
what? leave out the second stanza and these lines "And act like lemmings off to work- That ply a suicidal journey on To mass Oblivion" oh no! it's perfect the way it is! |
||
|
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Try swapping the second & the third. Stanzas that is. May need to reword slightly (may not) and removes (your words more or less) sameness but not the essence and actually, I think, fits better. But I'm no judge for sure... Good write. j. |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
On a laptop now, but need my computer back, this mouseless thing is driving me nuts..'cause I don't know its tricks..but need to say how much I am thrilled by these replies.. Thank you |
||
|
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
don't change a thing & that pic divine Love is the life of the soul... |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hey, Ford.... It snowed here... |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Thank you, Tracie...and sunshine. Sunny, I did see your weather on T.V. It is not only snow thaat I crave, it is zero weather, so the ice will get thick enough to walk on...I am an ice fisherman...I was fishing on safe ice on Dec. 10th last year.... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
