»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #47
»
Primitive
| Open Poetry #47 |
|
Primitive |
|
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
|
There's a darkness which surrounds the city, It's what carries us into tomorrow. That, then would be the future of today, So you could say we'll live in the future. If that's so, and it is, how should we act? The future is ours, but we can look back. We can see the debris that we have caused, Not road trash, but our mindless turpitude. We invent things makes it easy to kill, Fly planes without pilots then drop the bombs. Wars and rumors of war or so it says, We look back and see that's all it was. I wait for my young son, he had to go, Me, I stayed with my wife to protect her. The land has been wasted, everything's gone, If we're lucky he'll find something to eat. There are others like us, but no one shares, For the scent of deceit is in the air. There is no law, or rules we can go by, I heard of cannibalism last week.. We've blasted ourselves back to the stone age, Don't know how long its been since the big boom. People leave messages so we can find, Says lets unite we'll be safer like that. Says we could start the world over again, I think we're better off as primal man ~ Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. ~ |
||
| © Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Makes one wonder...James |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Yes it does, James, ergo the poem. Thanks for being here. ~ Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. ~ |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I really enjoyed your usage of couplets, here. I don't know enough to critique, but I liked the natural pause of the format that placed a natural "stop" in this reader's mind, which intrigued me to give more thought to each idea, and ponder how each was wed to the other. Much enjoyed, Jer.  |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, Karen. Every so often I write one of these doomsday things. Thinking about writing a novel about it, but it hasn't gotten much past the thinking stage. ~ Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. ~ |
||
|
Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..takes me back, somehow, to Barry McGuire's Eve Of Destruction..thought-provoking.. |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Doomsday things must be spoken about to prevent it from happening. I myself, ward it off by looking closely into the faces of beautiful flowers and women, in those things I find my faith in the future.. A world this pretty just cannot end in a fiery bang. Thanks for the poem..it reminded me of what I said above. |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Always good to see you here, Spiros. Thanks. ~ Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. ~ |
||
|
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Subconsciously, I must be doing the same thing, Ice, especially the part about staring deeply into the beautiful face of a woman. What we go through just to try and save mankind. Hah! Thanks, Ice. ~ Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. ~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
