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Open Poetry #47
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Pan's Tomb
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Pan's Tomb |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Aggrieved, the mournful winds bemoan their loss Beneath the somber skies gone mottled gray No stone shall mark this tomb, nor wooden cross Where once a lilting melody did play Beneath the somber skies gone mottled gray The forest dwellers do not comprehend Where once a lilting melody did play Oblivious to whom this dirge was penned The forest dwellers do not comprehend They only seek to satisfy their needs Oblivious to whom this dirge was penned Devouring the host on which they feed They only seek to satisfy their needs Befitting the less noble traits of man Devouring the host on which they feed Consumed, now there is naught but barren land Befitting the less noble traits of man No stone shall mark this tomb, nor wooden cross Consumed, now there is naught but barren land Aggrieved, the mournful winds bemoan their loss. |
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| © Copyright 2011 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Ohhhh, loved this one Doc! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Mysteria, Thanks much, in the last month I think we've had three days of "partial" sunlight. The gloom is oppressive, hence the overtones to what started out to me a simple play on words, lol. Doc |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
Doc, loved this one! What style of poetry is this? I'd like to try it myself sometime. Kat >^..^< |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The style is in the title, Kat,  That's our Moose!  |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
I guess Balladeer didn't understand my question. I guess I'll go to the workshop and figure it out. Kat >^..^< |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It's called a pantoum, kat. Moose used a play on words to make it his title  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Doc... This is you... this is now... and this is a blessing in disguise... because while I saw one reason for it, I saw yet a season for it. Bless you, my friend. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I loved it!! Perfect form |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Kat, Thanks for the r&r. Of the more structured forms, the pantoum, for me , ranks among the most difficult. All the repetitive formats make you choose your wording very carefully so as to maintain the readers' attention and reinforce what it is you're trying to say. We've touched on pantoums in the workshop, but a quick reference and examples can always be "googled". I'm usually not very pleased with my attempts at these, but, I'd probably give this one a "passing grade". Doc Balladeer, Thanks for dropping by m'friend, still chuckling about Helen Reddy, lol. Doc Sunshine, Thanks so much for the kind words, and of course, the "Sunshine", I've seen more of yours lately than the one in the sky and it's much appreciated. Doc Kaoru, Thanks very much, these do require some effort, lol. Doc |
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